two weeks...

Been two weeks since I could find some time to type out my thoughts with how I'm feeling and how I'm doing. To answer... TERRIBLE! I am an emotional wreck. There are so many things going on with my son that my head is spinning. doctors and more doctors and more doctors.

It's been so hard for me to focus on my own health and well being, because I feel so drained with what is going on around me. I think I am doing well on my diet, but I have found myself grazing for no reason. Just call me a moo-cow and put me out to pasture. When I'm upset I eat...and eat and eat... been upset for a few years now that's why my ass is so big!

I'm taking my meds when I'm suppose to, I'm drinking my shakes but yet there have been too many "cheats" specially when I can't sleep and I'm up with worry over my son.

I only worked out ONCE and that was today for 15 minutes. I didn't have the stamina to do more. My mind wants to, but my body is aching and tired from lack of sleep and a whole lot of worrying.

I see my doctor on Friday. Sometimes when I sit and talk to him I wonder how I don't break down in tears over how worried and upset I am. I have to keep on chugging... chugging.. that's a reference to my son's new favorite show Chuggington! The Chuggers hit the rails and keep on chugging.. that's what I have to do. Even if my heart isn't in this diet right now, the MINUTE I make excuses and give up, I'll gain everything back. So I must keep on chugging.

Thanks for reading my big fat ass blog