Day 20

Just barely got the warm up in, started doing push ups and started crying. I HATE MYSELF!  Why do you eat? ?? I really really hate myself.
I do not want to fat but Oh look cheez its!
I
Hate
Myself

Day 19

Yeah, So, I HATE working out still. Some mornings it takes a lot to convince myself to do it.
I know I'll see results
I know it takes time
But today I feel sad. I'm sad that I go to food when stressed. I'm sad that I carry all this weight around and look awful. I don't believe I'm pretty, I just see fat and ugly. I had a few fat dreams. I had pockets of fat on my thighs to my knees in the shape of marshmallows. So imagine big marshmallows glued to your legs but it's your flesh. I was trying to find a doctor to remove them but couldn't find anyone to help me.
Which brings up the question that was asked to me by my OSRS online friend "who's supporting you?" Just me alone with this blog. My support is in my head. I don't talk to anyone about my struggle. I yo-yo too much. I don't want to hear the negative comments "are you going to do it this time? " I just fight the fight alone.
See you on day 20
Maria

Day 18

Sweat is fat leaving my body! I just hot my workout in before getting Alex ready for school. I threw a load of laundry in already, that's ready to switch to the dryer soon.
I'm already killing this day!
Go me!

Day 17

I did about 15 minutes today. I'm sweaty and my abs hurt! Good they need to hurt.
I know weight doesn't come off quickly  but I hate the scale. It has me weighing more than I did when I started 16 days ago. I know I shouldn't weigh myself every day for this reason but it does help me say what did I eat and how can I get that number better.
I don't want to give up on myself I want to do this every day until it becomes who I am! The longest I have gone with working out is 22 days. I know I'll pass that this time, but I also know that 22 days in a row came with a prior 3 months of working out 3x a week.
Little steps to change my big fat life!
I also saw that my oldest has to do a daily exercise routine for 30 days to earn a Webelo badge. I will do that with him! GOALS!
See you tomorrow

Day 16

Holy moly, changing jumping Jacks for running in place is really effective and really hard. Also doing those push ups as best as I can in the correct place and DAMN I'm in pain. 10 minutes is hard!
Glad I got it in, it would be so easy not to. Busy day with back to school night.
Hitting the shower now, then heading to the schools.

Day 15

I did work out this morning. I don't know why I forgot to post, probably because I did 8 loads of laundry, worked on scout planning, HSA and SNAC.
For now I gave up on the jumping Jacks, I run in place instead and that's just as effective to get my heart rate up. Today my heart rate was the best after the 10 minutes.
I hear my knees cracking, my shoulder feels sore from push ups, but if I keep going I will look better and feel better.
My stomach is huge! I have to keep going.
Maria

Day 13 and 14

Yesterday we went to the Ren Fair. I don't think I did enough of walking to equal my 10 minutes of exercise I've been doing however I learned I'm doing push ups wrong. My arms are placed too far in front of me. So all that happiness of feeling I was doing more push up was shattered.
This morning's work out I placed my hands in the correct position and holy shit it hurt! I barely was able to push myself up. I'm going to try harder each day.
Time for a shower and get ready for my busy Sunday. Ccd, homework birthday party.
Maria

Day 12

I jogged in place instead of jumping jakes. I hate those things, I know it gets your heart rate higher but I hate them. 
I feel a difference in my arms today. It's getting easier to do push ups. I can do about 5 easily then I feel the burn. Last week it was a struggle to do 1 without burning.
Little things like that keep me going.
Tonight is the scout blue and gold dinner. Time for me to hit the shower and get there to set up.
Tomorrow Ren fair. I'm not sure if I'm counting the walking as my work out or if I will try to do it in the morning. Guess it depends on how late we are out tonight.
Maria

Day 11

I very reluctantly did a work out. I think it was 5 minutes. I just didn't want too. I'm tired today. I didn't even do laundry. I just want to go to bed.
Jumping Jacks SUCK! My boobs are bouncing all over the place, they fall out of my bra, the straps fall down, it's just boobage every where. I haven't found a bra yet that can control these suckers with any exercise.
Now I have to force myself out the door for errands.

Day 10

I did it. Day 10. 10 minutes. I am not ready for more. Jumping Jacks kill me. Slow and steady. Keep going!
I did laundry already this morning, going to jump in the shower then go gave a meeting of the S.M.C.
See you on day 11

Day 9

Day 9! Did it. I didn't push myself as hard but I got further along in the circuits.
I am listening to my body tell me when to push so I don't give up.
In surprising news the first thing my husband said to me when he got in last night was "did you work out today?"
He doesn't normally pay attention to me. I'm shocked that he asked.
See you on day 10
Maria

Day 8

Oh my goodness I couldn't push myself as far as I did yesterday. But I did a good 10 minutes. 50 jumping jacks, crunches, reverse crunches - Damm those hurt!
My official weigh in is down 2lbs.
I have flyers to make and need to color my hair today.
See you day 9
Xoxo
Maria

Day 7

Oh Yeah Day 7
I did so much today.  Took the kids to CCD, a few errands, then home. Where I cooked sliders, stuffed peppers, sausage, sloppy joes and roasted potatoes all for the busy week ahead of activities. I washed the dishes, clothes, folder and got them away (which is a feat in itself) cleaned off the counter, got Anthony's homework done, showered the kids and managed to get the work out in!
I even made it to the circuit I did on Friday. My plan is to push for one more tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
I really  can't wait for bed!
Maria

Day 6

I did about 5 minutes just now. My knees are really hurting. I slept late with Alex, then Anthony came home from his Camp-In, soccer game, birthday party... just busy.
I thought I could push myself as far as yesterday but I couldn't. I am just pleased that I was determined to try and that I didn't skip it.
Tomorrow is another day. Almost bed time now.
Maria

Day 5 - repeat day 4

I did the same number of circuits today as yesterday. My knees really hurt yesterday and this morning. I must be leasing the wrong way on something. So today's 10 minutes hurt more than yesterday's.
Little by little I will get there.
My goal is to continue this number of circuits for the weekend then push for one more circuit Monday morning.

Day 4 - one more circuit

1 more circuit was my mantra for today. Just 1 more, 1 more and I did that one more.
My goal is to build myself up not break myself down. A little each day goes a long way with my self determination.
I already feel the difference in my stomach and it's only been 4 days.
I'm watching what I eat but really not on a 'diet' yet. I have a love hate relationship with food. I don't know what I should eat for each meal. I'm monitoring my bread, eating protein.
I still have room to add more water!  I know that's huge!
But again I am happy with myself!
Time to hit the showers
Maria

Yesterday and today

I forgot to post that I worked out yesterday.
I just did 10 minutes of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I am not pushing myself too hard because I will burn out. I did one more circuit than yesterday and today I didn't use all the weights with all the circuits, again so I don't burn out and quit.
I want a nice steady build up. I want to get stronger and I want to look back and remember how hard it was but I did it. Change doesn't happen overnight. You gotta work at it.
I'm happy with myself today.

Worked out

I did a few minutes a work out. I have work out on my schedule every day this week when the kids go to school.
Building myself back up.