Here I am again

Talking to myself once again. I'm on day 3 of working out. I'm sore today. I'm only doing a few minutes of Jillian Micheals of 6 week 6 pack. I like this one because it's upright work at first. I need to build myself back up to getting down on the ground. My knees are hurting. I just found out I am seriously lacking in vitamin D again.
I'm going to the doctor for all kinds of tests to check on my heart. I'm so scared I'm going to die like Chris. I still can't believe it. I'm still so sad. I cry a lot. I can't get to sleep. I just can't believe it. I can't. I don't want to. But things are moving on, changes are happening. Aunt Mer is moving to Florida with Vinnie. And I'm still here in the cold weather that I hate! I hate the snow and cold. I want to move too.