I'm drowning

I'm not doing well taking care of myself or my family. I keep screwing up. The pressure of taking care of everything has had a negative impact on me.
It's hard to make decisions or I make the wrong ones. I have nobody to work it out with because their father has his own issues.
I am living through the worst year of my life, through no fault of my own. I am just trying to survive the fall out and I'm not making it.
I'm hurting so much, but I see we are reaching the end. By September 27 we should have answers to all the big issues. I just need to keep my head above the water so I don't drown

My blog is a mess, I'm a mess

I haven't done anything right for myself this year. It has been the most stressful year of my life. When I'm stressed I eat.  I don't want to be fat, I don't want to be a mess. But I am. Now slowly I have to fight back. I need to stop asking myself WHY can't I do it. And just do it.
in 2012 I was focused and lost 70lbs. So I know I can do this. I just don't have the support team I did then, I'm more alone. So I really need to find my strength again.
The kids start school next week. I have to walk my youngest to the bus stop. That's up and down a hill 2x a day. I'll track it with my app next week. The walking will help.
Today I'm just sticking to the plan that works for me. And I plan on coming here to blog to you.. to myself. I don't feel good right now and I want to. So that's my focus. I need to get myself out of this mess I'm in.
Maria