Day 47 - Art Show

 I can't stop smiling from this wonderful day.  I knew I had to get my work out in before I left to help at my son's school. This morning I had to get a file over to Twiggy and then I was making plans for the tournament I'm going to in July, I was so busy I forgot to take my before picture.

It took me longer than I thought to get myself ready and pack everything I needed for the day, but when I was finally dressed and ready to walk out of the house I FELT GREAT IN MY NEW CLOTHES. When I walked into the school gym, Anthony's aid said she hadn't seen me in a long time and I looked great. I really love that people are noticing, it really makes me want to work harder. I felt so good, that I swear I even felt taller. I walked around help set up and did whatever they asked me to do.


When the saboteur got there with my Aunt and Uncle she would make this pissy face every time someone said they could see how much weight I lost.

When my friend Denise's sister and parents got there, the saboteur actually walked away with her pissy face. I had such a GRIN because I knew it was eating at her. She just loves to tell me how fat I am but she can't really do that with everyone else saying they can see the change.

Boyfriend told me to ask to borrow her clothes and then give them back and say they are too big. I think what happen tonight was better! But I will sneak into her room and put on a pair of her jeans to check to see if they are too big. Then I'll be doing the happy dance :-)

You might be wondering why it's such a big deal about her. In 2009 I found this doctor I asked her for MONTHS to watch Anthony for me to go and see what it was about. She was too busy, or she forgot, or she had things to do. Meanwhile she was losing weight and looking good and every time she had on something new I told her she looked good. Her replies were always something nasty like "I'm starving myself" or "I go to be hungry" crap like that. She was saying this to other people too. I don't know why it's so hard to say "Thank you, I'm working hard"

One day I was out of milk so I went into her apartment to borrow some. In her refrigerator was all these bottles of shakes. I took one out, looked at it and read that it was from The Center for Medical Weight Loss. I went back upstairs and cried and cried. I couldn't believe she was that much of a B!TCH to actually go to the doctor I had been trying to get too. And this is not the first time she did this to me with a diet.

She SCREAMED at me in 6th grade when I was 100lbs and had started developing in 2nd grade and hit puberty by 4th! By 6th grade when all my friends were just starting to get boobs, I was done growing and a kid in a woman's body with a C cup. I was NOT FAT! I know that now, but I didn't know it then. She put me on a diet making me eat things I still hate. She swore she would do the diet with me.

One day she forgot to pack the dressing for my salad in my lunch, because she was a teacher in the school I was in, I went to the teachers room to ask her for some of her dressing. I hoped the door to the teachers room, looked for her and saw her sitting there having Chinese food and not the gross salad she packed for me. I looked at her, started to cry and walked out. She didn't come after me, she didn't talk to me that night and that was the end of that diet. I had a sandwich the next day.

There is something wrong with this woman. This is not how you should act with your children. There's nothing I wouldn't do to help my children, especially when it comes to their health. All of you who know all the details of my two boys know that's true. I need to be healthy enough to raise them, I need to be a good roll model. The have to learn good habits from me! 

Back to the Art Show...I am going to have to give in and say boyfriend is right, people are sensing my confidence because several people (mostly guys) were asking about the frames and how much.  One guy was talking to me so long that his wife came over and gave him a dirty look. I thought it was funny! I was pushing around a baby in a stroller after all.

We took a few pictures of my little artist. Here he is holding up his Andy Warhol inspired sponge painting of his name and a few favorite letters.

And this is my favorite of me and my little artist. He even has a Wubbzy Artist eye patch on.

 I posted this on facebook tonight to brag about my little masterpiece. I was NOT expecting the comments that followed:

Cousin Chris posts: Look how skinny his mom is getting!!!! I saw you 3 - 4 weeks ago, and you've definitely lost visibly since then!
Cheryl said: MAria: you look aawesome!!!!
Cousin Arlena said: You really look great in this pix! Great job!
Cara said: Oh my heck, girlie.... you look fantastic!
Jenn said: you are the incredible shrinking woman....just amazing!
Kelly M. said: you look amazing, keep up the good work!!!

And the grin from their comments and likes has been on my face for HOURS!! Even when the roommate started fighting with me, I started fighting back, but then stopped myself and said "You are NOT worth it" because he couldn't find WIPES when the whole case was on the floor next to him!


And the last BIG thing of today, The Center for Medical Weight Loss asked me "Do you mind if we post your pic to give everyone a bit of encouragement?" and "Would also love to have you on our main site as a Success Story!"
 I told them I'm not a success yet!!! I'm a "getting there" story

See you tomorrow after I do my work out!!! And again I can't wait to do it. I am going to add in a little of the ab dvd too, then I'll really be sweating like a pig.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 14 - lagging today

That Jillian Michaels is KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!! I did 11 or 12 of those kick ass surrenders yesterday and I've had enough. I even tried to film it but the video cuts me off from the waist down, so what's the point? you can't see the whole move. I'll try again next week.

Today I need a break from that evil evil woman. So I'm doing Debbie Siebers's Slim in 6 I know I have to push myself, but I also don't want to get hurt or keep using the same muscles.

I have to get into that size 18 in 79 days. My 90 challenges ends on June 7, Alexander's Christening is on June 10. On June 9 me and my cousins are going to have family photos taken and I need a pair of jeans for that!! And we all know my jeans don't fit ...does a happy dance!

I keep thinking about my "boyfriend" saying how great I look in that dress. Well he said "Your boobs will look fantastic"  Yes, I have a boyfriend.. don't you? In fact I have several!
I have one that makes me feel like this - all you ladies get that right?

One that would help me hide the body if necessary....lol. One that has been MIA for so long he should be striped of the title "boyfriend" And no none of them are gay.. although I did have a gay boyfriend way back when, but that's another story.

Okay enough blogging, time for my big fat @$$ to get up and work out before the BRAT comes home from school or the baby's heart alarm goes off. Here I am all ready to go, so lets get started...


My view of Alexander while doing crunches


And here I am done with my work out, sweating like a???


Tonight a friend is coming over for dinner and to meet Alexander for the first time. I will STICK to my diet! My weigh in is tomorrow at 1pm and I don't want to throw anything off.

If that scale goes down I'm treating myself to a pedicure tomorrow night. Look how sad my toes are :( I need a summer color, I am tired of looking at this red. BUT ONLY if the scale goes down. If not then I am looking at this sorry @$$ color for another week.



Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 13 I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!

I woke up this morning feeling all stuffy. Both boys are also stuffy. I knew with everyone feeling under the weather that I wouldn't get my work out in this morning.

However ALL DAY I telling telling myself:

1. you will do it tonight
2. you are on day 13 don't go back to day 1
3. when you want to do something, you will

At 6:15pm I heard Ed come home and knew it was time to get my big fat @$$ up and get moving


I did great doing those killer surrenders, I even tried filming it, but you don't see my anything from my waste down, so I'll try to film it again at another time.

My arms are BURNING and every time Jillian Michaels said "you should be burning right now" I was.. BURN makes me think of SUNBURN, SUNBURN makes me think of SUMMER, SUMMER makes me think of the CONVENTION I want to go to, so I really am pushing it!

Here I am sweating like a PIG


I can do this!!!

I just went back and read a few earlier blog posts from this year. When I started again, my first goal is to get back into the jeans I was wearing the day I found out I was pregnant!
I did that!!! Not only did I do it, I don't fit into them as of this week!!!

come on day 14

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 11 - 5 years ago today...

Five years ago today I put down my pack of cigarettes, walked out the door, went to work determined never to smoke again as if my life depended on it. - no gum, no patch, no drugs, just cold turkey and lots of water!

Here I am 5 years later with that same determination as if my life depended on it..pushing myself, working out, eating better and lots of water!



I have to keep pushing myself and reminding myself all the reasons I'm doing this.

For my girlfriend Cheryl, who's been an inspiration to me, who's getting ready for a race...move it girlfriend you can do it.

I found this picture on Cheryl's FB page shared from Tiger Schulmann's Mma Middletown. - Body scan of 250 pound woman and 120 pound woman.



Here I am ready to work out today to Jillian Micheals No More Trouble Zones



here I am sweating like a pig again...do pigs sweat? can someone answer that?



and now all showered and looking nice, too bad I don't have a date :-)

I took my boys to the mall to see the Easter Bunny. My older one ran out the door when we were leaving, my mom can't run because of her knees but I took off pushing the stroller and nearly ran over my mom because she didn't get out of the way.. and GUESS WHAT?? I wasn't out of breath!! The brat finally stopped running.

I am hoping to get to the Clifton Lane Bryant tonight to buy my dress in a size 20 and 18, but since I can't take Alex on the highway with his heart monitor I have to wait until someone can watch him. So if I don't get there tonight, I'll go tomorrow.

I'm feeling really good and believe I'll get into that 18 BECAUSE today when I put on my favorite jeans they were falling off me.



They are too big around the waste and legs. I don't know if you can really tell from the above picture, but trust me. Last month they fit me perfectly, today not at all.

I am so happy, but since they were my first jeans in years with a button and zipper I will not just give them away. I think I'll cut them and make a scrap page out of them.

Day 12 here I come!

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$