not the day I thought I would have but....

I thought I would get out of the house today however Alexander didn't want to wake up this morning, which means only one thing, he's sick again.

While he slept I cleaned out two boxes of junk, cleaned off the table, washed the dishes and put them away, changed the sheets, made a few phone calls and WORKED OUT!

I am not as good as I was when I was working out all the time, but slowly I will get there again. I know the best way for me to lose weight is to exercise.

I rewarded myself by working on the Ghostbusters painting for our wall, but after I took care of Alexander, of course.

xoxox
Maria

It all started....

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I had one of those nights where I tossed and turned. Besides my normal drama things aren't right with another person. I really want to work out the stupid issues but all I'm getting is the silent treatment. 

I also was up, worried I might have crossed a line and offended another friend, but thankfully all is good there. And even thou that was on my mind all night, what did I go and do? Crossed the damn line again this morning UGH!! But I'm glad I was put in my place!!

Alexander was up early, fed him and he started yawning again. I knew I'd be able to get another hour of sleep and that's what I did.

Mornings are hard keeping Anthony on focus, getting him fed and dressed. He has to go "check on his trucks" before he brushes his teeth or gets dressed. He was VERY SLOW this morning. I was trying to get him ready as well as get Alex another bottle and everything ready for me to leave the minute the bus came.

Anthony went to get his clothes out of the dresser (but I had them on the bench for him) and BAM. I go running to find a drawer on the floor broke, clothes every place. These pictures were taken tonight, because I didn't have time to do it when it happened.


NEXT...
Anthony was sitting in the living room drinking his chocolate milk, when all of the sudden it spilled every where! In hindsight I am glad he wasn't dressed because I would have to change his clothes. I couldn't even wipe him up he had to go into the shower. It was 12:15pm the bus comes at 12:30pm. I'm not dressed, Alexander isn't dressed or fed, and I'm giving Anthony a shower worried that we'd miss the bus.

Fifteen minutes later, he's cleaned, dressed and sporting his pirate stuff for Talk Like a Pirate Day

Off to school he went but I still wasn't ready and Alexander missed his lunch. Which meant I couldn't go to Costco before the doctor's to make the return, I had to do it after.  Twenty minutes later I'm in the van with my little pirate #2 off to his check up.


Talking... more doctors.. more specialist.. a bigger to do list for me and before I know it, it's 2:50pm

At 3pm I'm in Costco making my return. I'm tapping my foot, hoping I get out of there to get home to meet Anthony on the bus. The line took longer than my return, then I raced in the store to get milk and paper plates pushing Alexander in the stroller.

 I was doing a jog and thought to myself I wouldn't have been able to do this 65lbs ago!

I paid, was leaving and the MILK WAS LEAKING!! The lady at the check out said she'd have someone get me a new one, but it was 3:14pm I didn't have the time. I RAN back to the milk got a new one and RAN out of the store pushing a sleeping little pirate boy.

You know how it is when you're late, you hit every red light. As the minutes were ticking down I was totally freaking that they would pull away with him.  I reached into my pocket to put my bluetooth on, just in case they called and SNAP... broke the part that goes over the ear.

I got home with less than a minute to spare because I was speeding. I thought if a cop came after me I was just going to drive home and let him give me the ticket I couldn't pay for in front of my house so I wouldn't miss Anthony. But I got home safely!!!Alexander was sleeping by this point.

When Anthony comes home from school I make him change his clothes because they have a dress code at school and I don't want the school clothes ruined. I sat down with my cold water, checked Facebook (like it's a newspaper) and I hear "Mom, oh Mom" and this is what I find.

I do not know how I stayed calm. I do not know how I didn't kill him. He knew exactly what he was doing. Then he tells me "I'm shaving just like Dad" and my heart sank. He wants the roommate's attention so badly!

To stay calm I posted all these photos on Facebook. They finish uploading and another "Mom" from Anthony. I look and see the tape measure which he got yelled at by the roommate for playing with last night, caught in the tire of his toy truck.



I can't believe this day! I got the tape measure unstuck or that would have been another nightmare with the roommate. I made Anthony put all his school clothes in a basket and got him in the bath.

As I'm cleaning up the bathroom I find my new bottle of mouth wash on the floor almost empty. He knocked that over and I guess I didn't close the top on tight enough. This is all that's left.


I give him a bath and make him come down stairs to do the laundry with me since he made the mess. Got back upstairs by 5pm to hear Alexander crying and waking up from his nap. I quick got Anthony's left overs from last night warmed up, made him sit and eat, made a bottle and started feeding Alexander.

When I heard the backup beep beep beep sounds of the roommate's truck at 5:30.. UGH I was scared. I didn't know what he would do tonight. Less than 20 minutes later I'm yelling my standard "Just SHUT UP" to him because he's mouthing off to Anthony. 

I washed a few dishes, changed the laundry, text my cousin, shook my phone a few times hoping a text message from the one who's giving me the silent treatment would come in.. but no such luck.

7pm I wiped away my tears, got my sneakers on and was working out.. F*&$THE WORLD!!!
Before

After

Showered, Facebooked, Texted, got the kids to bed and started blogging.

I'm tired, I'm burnt out. I don't think most people believe how crazy my days are. I certainly don't think the "Silent One" understands at all!!!

I hope I sleep tonight.

Hell yeah I'm back!!!

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My mind is going a mile a minute right now. I feel GREAT but so so so sore. I'm back, hell yeah I'm back, I'm back, I'm back. It's the take no prisoners DID that I want to be...well maybe I'm just improving on one of my DID names. Whatever I'm doing, I knew there was no way I was missing a work out today.

I spent the day with my newly Wireless boy and my Patches boy at Field Station: Dinosaurs and had a great day.


Then SURPRISE....... the roommate turned into a "husband" for the first time in such a long time I should have him checked for entry points for where the alien entered him... He called that he was in the area and lets meet for dinner at IHop. HOLY MOLY!

I was so happy to see the calories listed on the menu!! I ordered the Veggie Omelette

Dinner took a while and for less than a minute I thought "I was active enough today don't need to work out" And THEN the host who's been working there forever said to me "You've lost weight" I smiled and said yes and knew I would come home and push myself to do that evil Jillian Micheals 30 day Shred.

Not only did I do the work out, I did level 2 and did the whole thing! I LOVE that my abs are so sore!! My arms hurt, my legs hurt and my butt hurts. I feel GREAT!!!!

Before


Sweating like a pig

Tomorrow I weigh in with my doctor. I haven't been there in a few weeks. I also haven't been 100% either, so I don't know if the scale will move at all. It's gone up and it's gone down the last few weeks. But I'm happy and really feel that fire to push myself past that number that has been scaring me.

Happy August 22nd!!!!

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When I left Anthony's eye doctor in July, I had a surgery date of August 8th. I then had to change Alexander's heart doctor appointment which was schedule for Aug 8th also. When they gave me the next available date I thought to myself, my lucky number 22 won't let me down.

I ended up changing Anthony's eye surgery so he could enjoy the rest of the summer and go swimming, but I didn't call Alexander's doctor to change the appointment back. I just felt my 22 would take care of me and the monitor would be coming off.

At last the day was here. I had expected to take Anthony with me but at the last minute he stayed with my mother. I knew FOR SURE it was coming off because every major important thing with Alexander, I have been the only one there with him. So off to the doctors I went, nervous and excited but confidant it was coming off.

Here Alexander is taking a little nap right before we left.


Here we are getting ready to leave.


Waiting in the waiting room

Having the exam
Woo Hoo GREAT NEWS - I'm too sexy for my monitor, too sexy for my monitor!!!

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I was so excited I didn't even get that bothered by the saboteur's annoying remarks later on in the afternoon when we did errands.

When I came home I made an anniversary dinner for the roommate and Anthony. Then to celebrate I did 30 minutes of Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. I am so happy that after not doing it for a while I was still able todo the jumping jacks and get through the whole DVD! yippie for me.

Here I am before my work out


And Sweating like a pig


I am really proud of myself that I didn't let the day get away from me and miss my work out! Now I'm going to play with photo shop for a little while and got to bed early.

I'm a very emotional person!

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My moods are directly effected by the ones closest to me. And when there is too much chaos I'm in that black hole!!  Yeah I don't really want to hear I shouldn't let them bother me, because if I had figured that out I wouldn't have shoved food in my mouth all these years and I wouldn't be the moody bitch from hell that I am.

One of my BIGGEST problems is the roommate's hoarding!!! I feel like the house is falling in on me. I'm too overwhelmed with all of it, I can't figure out what to do or how to handle it. I have had people tell me throw it all out, but he goes ape shit and is scarey when you throw out his stuff... yeah yeah I can hear you guys.. call the police? Sure I call the police he gets pulled out of here, Anthony is screaming and crying, it'll be a scene. Then fine he's out.. then he'll go sleep on his Aunt's sofa or something. My biggest fear is that his family will make him cut off the money. And it's the boys who will suffer the most. I have to do this carefully and slowly.

I have been trying to clean the dining room for almost 2 weeks and it doesn't look like I did ANYTHING!!! I keep taking before pictures and there isn't one "AFTER" photo yet. Lets see how I do today.

Here is the dining room last week.




Here is the dining room today and I swear it's worse!




After 3 hours of sorting and folding and putting away here's what I had.




The minute the table was free of the clutter Anthony asked me to build him train tracks. I wonder if there's a job out there for me building train sets :-) That took me another hour to put the track together and make the bridges.




Then I continued to sort the ton of clothes.  From left to right; size 24 months/ 2t - size 12 & 18 months - to sell on ebay - stuff I want to keep and the basket in the bottom right corner is to get rid of ASAP.




What you can't see on the other side of the table are boxes from the roommate filled with stupid stuff that he thinks is important. I opened one box to see what was in there. No surprise books and junk.




That little box on the left of the above picture has this shit in it. Do you think ANY of that is important? I bet only 5 or so things are worth saving. Look there's a pen, key chain, blots, plastic wrappers from something, pieces of wire  and papers.  THIS IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO HIM!!! This is the crap that is in his storage unit. Look under that yellow paper in the plastic bag down on the right, under that is a scratched off lottery.



I could just throw it out but I don't want to suffer any more drama. His screaming at Anthony is more than I can handle. So I'm going to make him just move this crap to his storage unit tomorrow or Sunday.

I have a plan for that stupid storage unit too. Next year when I do the taxes, I'm making him open his own bank account and putting money in it. . I will also set up his pay check to deposit some money into that account as well. I will change the storage unit to come out of that account. I will tell him that his account, he can do whatever he wants with it.  Give it some time and he'll blow through that money and won't have enough for his storage unit and I don't give a crap what happens after that!! He needs his own account and needs to learn how to take care of his money.

I somehow did the dishes, cooked dinner, cleaned off the counter, fed the kids, sorted more clothes, bagged up 2 bags to give away, another 2 baskets of clothes to give to someone who needs clothes and then......

Anthony asked "Can we go to the park?" it was just about 7pm at this point. I opened the back door, decided it wasn't too hot and packed the cooler with drinks. The bags of clothes to get rid of went in the van. I sent the roommate and Anthony off to do that and then go to the park, while I pushed Alexander in the stroller for 1 1/2 hours!!! which equals 3 miles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did a drive around the blocks to figure out a route that equaled a mile. I ended up with 1.3 miles. I was running out of daylight but really was pushing to get the last round done. But when Alex started crying I knew he needed to be fed so I didn't finish the last loop around the dead end. If I had finished I would have done 3.9 miles but since I didn't finish I'm estimating it was 3 miles or so.

Some of it I ran but mostly I walked. I was so grateful for all the people who water their lawn at night. I parked the stroller and ran through the sprinklers. Talk about sweating like a pig. My legs are BURNING but I feel sooooooooooooooooooo good!!!!! 

When my phone went off and I heard "wwoo hoo text message" that just pushed me more. I'm amazed how when those who matter most to me are around how much better I feel. I think it proves I need to get away from the saboteur and the roommate who bring me down!!! Oh and lets add my brother into that mix too!!!

I am also thrilled to report I stayed 100% on my diet plan! Go me! What a day. I have plans to push myself again tomorrow. Work more on the dining room, swim with the kids and walk again. And most of all I can't wait to hear my phone say "wooo hoo text message" all day long! GOT THAT?????????



 

Day 77 - eyes on my goal

I didn't expect much from my weigh in this morning because of how much I ate over the weekend. My scale finally showed me at the same weight as last Friday this morning. It's really not about the number on the scale anymore, I like my fitness goals much better, but I still do not like when that number goes up!

I ended up down 0.5lb. This showed me I am capable of having fun and eating and then getting myself right back on track with my new healthier lifestyle. I am really pleased with myself this week.

So what was my reward? A nice large cup of iced coffee (what flavor?) and a 60 minute work out with Jillian Michaels!!! Someone around here weighs 1.5lbs less than me right now.. and I am going to make sure there is a difference in my favor this week :-P

 Besides this is my last big push before the Christening. I need to stay focus, on track and more determined.




 I can't believe I was able to push myself and get through the whole DVD but I was tired, it was hard. I had to slow down a few times but I did my best to keep up with her.




When I got dressed this morning I put on.. umm... my FORMER favorite t-shirt. Someone might like the shirt falling off of me and showing the girls, but this shirt is TOO BIG!
Here I am in the same shirt  and leggings on my birthday on April 4th before I went for my pedicure Here I am in the shirt on January 15 when I tried it on in Lane Bryant
I am so glad I take a ton of pictures. I love seeing the difference in me! The thin girl trying to get out is really happy.

I did a bunch of other stuff today but it's late and I'm tired so more blah blah blah another time.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 45 - work out done already

Slept late, got up, fed Alex, woke Tony, fed him, threw dinner in the crock pot, Tony dressed, got him on the bus and it was ME TIME!!!!! I love this new, take no bullshit from anyone, me who works out. She awesome! Where the hell has she been all my life???? I must have been drowning her out by shoving M&Ms and chips down my mouth.

I did my 30 day shred, well I get it's 45 day shred for me...lol Before

Sweating like a pig


Took a shower, text a few friends and here I am blogging before 3pm in the afternoon with my cutie on my lap.

Too bad the weather sucks or I would call Twiggy to met us for a walk/run around the blog. So I guess I will scrap, I have to design BBQ invitations. Enjoy the rest of your Monday, see you back here tomorrow!
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 44 - my "other" birthday

Ignore the title it's not for you. :-)

Like I said yesterday I got up and worked out, well after I had a cup of coffee first. I started listening to music  during my work outs instead of hearing that Evil Bitch Talk during the 30 day shred. I am doing much better pushing myself too. In fact today I did 4 push ups. Holy Moly those are hard! But I know the more I keep pushing the more I will do.
Before





I sweat so much I should be a tester for deodorants! I could also be a tester for sports bras!!!

I showered and started to get dressed. I am really having a hard time with clothes, nothing fits correctly besides my shoes. I can't wait to go shopping with Jenn on May 12! I posted this picture and my cousin Michele said "Yep...clothes are too big!"




Well I have to deal for a little while. I am making my shopping list: a dress for my cousin's wedding, pair of jeans, pair of shorts, sports bra, 3 shirts, that has to get me through the summer. Then I am hoping by September I need to get even smaller clothes, well maybe October :-)

Off to Harmon, Babies R Us and the A&P I went. Something keeps happening when I go food shopping... I am getting checked out! WTF?? I am no where near a healthy weight but yet every time I am out some guy checks me out. The first couple times I ignored it, but a few guys have stopped to talk to me and when they do they all look at my ring finger to see if I am married. I'm flattered but don't get it! I certainly didn't get checked out when the scale was the same number and going up.

I set a text to boyfriend, the one who makes me smile, not the one who will hide the body. He said "You feel good about you... guys sense that" It's still hard to believe that's all it takes to be noticed by a guy.  How come I didn't get the memo on this years ago? lol


I got home and waited for my mom to come home from her vacation. My brother came over and he told her about our cousin's passing. It went just like I thought, she was in and out of shock and crying. We took her over to see my aunt and cousin after we told her and stayed there for two hours. I got her home poured her a glass of wine and talked for another 2 hours. She's going to be upset for a while but she'll be okay.

Now before we told her, this happened...and I swear I would have just went back to my apartment if we didn't have to tell her anything.

My brother looked different, new glasses? new hair cut? so I said you look good, you look different are those new glasses? (he usually wears contacts that's what it was) He said no, then my mom jumps in with "he's tall and thin and his hair is dark"  My brother says "look at Maria she's thin" to which she replies with "she'll get there" AND THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS WHY SHE'S KNOWN AS THE SABOTEUR

 Here are the numbers depending on where you want to count down from:

• From when I first started the diet in 2010 to today I am down 44.5lbs
• I was at my heaviest when I gave birth to both my boys reaching the same number on the scale. So from this past Nov 3 when I gave birth to Alexander to today I am down 71.5lbs!
• From the weigh in when I started the diet again after I had Alex (which is what I am counting) I am down 34lbs

And tonight was the saboteur's first comment in months. Last time she said anything it was "I can't tell" sometime in February when I was down about 20lbs. I wonder if I give her a few bags of potatoes to carry if she'll notice 34lbs? She can go suck a lemon but it better not be one of my 3 lemon limit!

Time for bed, then up to do my work out :-)
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$