Day 87 - Apparently karma is making your pinky toe hate me

I got A1 to school but not without having to watch 4 episodes of Doc McStuffins this morning! Who is that?, you ask. She's a 6 year old girl who's a doctor to stuffed animals. I had start recording this for him last week after he saw the first one.

I have my list of what to do today and slowly crossing things off and adding things to the to do list for the rest of the week. I am worried that I'll forget something, because  you know it's all on me, every little detail.. if everyone has clean clothes, corsages and boutonnieres ordered, seating chart, ribbons on favors, pictures printed, new socks for Alexander to wear, pay the restaurant, the church, batteries for cameras, find the missing camera, toys and things to do for Anthony packed and ready, "emergency kit" packed with everything from aspirin to needle and thread to extra clothes for both boys in case someone gets sick.

Plus I have to do my nails again, my hair is getting highlighted this week, everyone else needs a hair cut, the house is a MESS and I don't know if anyone will be stopping by before or after the Christening so I need to get this place cleaned up.

I still have the doctor paper work to fill out that's been hanging over my head, and I'm trying to work out every day.

I'm tired just typing out what I have to do this week. And next week isn't any better. I'm suppose to be going away next weekend but I still don't know if that will happen. So I'm glad I'm busy to keep my mind off of it and the fact that my cell phone seems to be broken...incoming text messages seem to be limited.  I think I need a new service plan, something very detailed like Sheldon's roommate agreement.

I got in a 30 minute work out today. I would have been able to do the full hour, but work out was called on a count of a crying hungry baby!
Before- wearing the shirt Cheryl gave me




Sweating like a pig




Time to tackle as much more as I can on my to do list today and make Anthony dinner.
And if you have no idea what I'm talking about sometimes, it's because I'm not talking to you :-)
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Days 85 & 86 another weekend

Another crazy weekend!

Saturday June 2, 2012 - Day 85

I am still trying to get done things for the Christening. Table seating is a little crazy but I'll get it done. I have a list and need to stick with my list.

The stupid ass roommate got locked out of the van on Saturday. Instead of calling the cops he called to scream at me, like it was my fault. He told me to call OnStar but I didn't think they could help because we have the rear view mirror type, but I called and was very happy to learn they could send road side assistance. Within 20 minutes someone was there to unlock the van door. When the stupid roommate got home he went right back out again to the Dodge dealer to get us spare keys.

I also did a little shopping and got myself a lemon backpack! I love it. I also found big lemon and lime bags. I got a few of those and one I'll use to carry my shakes to and from the doctors from now on.

The other great thing that happen was I bought workout shorts and pants IN THE NORMAL SIZE SECTION OF THE STORE. I was not in the "woman's" or "plus size" I saw the work out area and thought "let me just take a look". When I saw the pants and shorts I didn't say to myself "they will never fit me" I decided to try them on because I thought they would and they DID! HOLY SHIT!!

I am so excited about the pants, much better than the big leggings that have been falling off of me while taking the walk/runs with Twiggy. And I was thrilled with the new black shorts. The two I have that I wear all the time are so big, that if I wear them when I work out, before I get to the end of my 30 jumping jacks they fall right off!

Later in the day I had the roommate get a few things down for me that I couldn't reach and I made him move some stuff in our room because I wanted to get to my secret hiding place *grin* I was on a hunt for the ring we gave my grandmother with all our birthstones. I found it and super excited that it fit. I also found my high school class ring which I haven't been able to get on my finger since before the first time I got married. woooo hooo there it is on my finger!

Sunday June 3, 2012 - Day 86

Spartan Race day!!! I was up early took care of a few things around the house and out the door I went to meet Cheryl and watch her do the Spartan Race. I had my new yellow shirt on and lemon backpack.


I was excited and nervous for her. I couldn't do any of the obstacles (I can here her saying YET) I would have been happy with myself just to make it walking around the course. I was pleased with myself that I didn't get out of breathe walking up and down the hill to take pictures. To me that was a big deal.

This was one of my favorite obstacles. I am so amazed my Cheryl!


If you don't know anything about my girlfriend Cheryl you can read about her journey here

Here she is at the end with her metal



Then guess what I did?! That's right I signed up for next year!All I keep thinking is OMG WHAT DID I DO, WHAT DID I DO!!



Even though I already knew I would have no support at all from home. I told the roommate. When I showed him all the pictures of Cheryl he said "You're going to do that?" and laughed. I don't know if he laughed because he knows how much I hate mud, or doesn't think I can do it.

 Either way FUCK HIM. Talk about an ultimate goal. I was never the kid who could finish the stuff in gym class. I would want to die of embarrassment when we had to run around the field. I would come home and cry and I couldn't do it.

I don't know how much I'll be able to do in a year but I'm going do try and do whatever I can. I saw woman doing this who were about my size now and they got it done! I can do this if I work at it.

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 76 - I'm doing WHAT???

I can only think in short spans of time... from doctor to doctor appointment for Alexander and what I have to do in between them. I haven't even allowed myself to think too much about going away in 3 weeks because I have TOO much to do. But that Cheryl crazy lady had me thinking about a year from now and she needs to be stopped *evil laugh*

Next weekend Cheryl is doing the dreaded Spartan Race. I'm in total awe of her training so hard. Just the burpees alone scare the crap out of me! Looks like you have to climb a rock wall,  rope and other crazy obstacles.

Wait!.. I'm not saying I don't want to do this, because she put the bug in my head.. HOWEVER I do not think I will be physically ready a year from now. There are too many what ifs that freak me out and I do sooo much better thinking SHORT TERM GOALS. Thinking about what I will be able to do a year from now is too much for my fat ass. 

But that crazy Cheryl says "You're doing it" even now while I type this I hear her in my head. I'm going to go with her and will take as many pictures as I can and THEN I will decide if I'm going to try for next year.

I did my work out for about a half hour. I still hate Jillian Micheals, hate her, hate her, hate her, but I am really liking my shoulders ;-) The girls on the DVD hardly get dewy and the sweat just pours off me.



When I was doing the leg lifts or whatever the heck I was doing, I thought to myself  "Those aren't my legs!"





I had a Lemon-licous idea. I made lemon zest from two lemons and put into an ice cube tray.

Then I squeezed the lemon juice from one lemon into the tray and sliced up the other one into real small pieces to fit into the tray


Poured water in and stuck in the freezer. Now I'll have Lemon-licous ice cubes for my water without breaking the 3 lemon limit!




Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 75 - it's Wednesday? felt like Tuesday ;-)

Warning..high volume of photos today.

Waves to the lemon police ;-) that's why it feels like Tuesday....moving on

I'm not sure if it's the No More Trouble Zone's DVD or the fact that I didn't work out for 4 days, but I'm having trouble getting through to the end. When Alexander started crying 20 minutes into the work out, I was soooooooooooooooo glad! Work out called on the count of a crying baby yippee!



For only 20 minutes I am still sweating like a pig. This lady is killing me, but I am seeing results. I couldn't believe my eyes when I got out of the shower and was drying my hair.. my arms are getting defined!!! Look at my shoulder you can see it! You can see the muscles.



I got dressed when into my favorite t-shirt drawer and pulled out my Bon Jovi T-shirt that I never wore because I couldn't fit into! It's a little long, I wish I knew how to sew... that's on my bucket list, I really need to get on that and learn.



Anthony was already a brat on the bus, I should have known it was going to be a nightmare going out with him and the saboteur, but the coupon I had for Payless ended today and he really needed sneakers. So off we went.

I got myself a large iced coffee and off we went. As I snapped this photo, the man sitting on the bench, on the right side of my coffee picture, asked me why I took a picture of my coffee. I told him I blog every day. I wanted to say, because if I sent this picture to the roommate he would have NO idea what kind of coffee I have, but if I send it to the "boyfriend" he would know without a doubt!





As you can see Mr. Anthony was already his crazy self. He wanted to climb on the stop sign. As I took his picture I wish I had a sharpie with me so I could write above the word stop "Don't" and below it "Believing"



And here he is in Kohl's putting on a fashion show for me.



I tried on a few things. I did not get any of these dresses I didn't like how any of them looked and they were more money than the ones I have bought on zulily.com.



I was at Kohl's on a mission to find a handbag I saw on their site, but no luck, but I figured I'd just order it on line when I got home. So I started hunting for yellow stuff since that's the "IT" summer color this year and just happens to work well with my crazy lemon craze.

I like this shirt, size 1X, but dammit I am going to have to change this blog name to My Big Fat Stomach! I refuse to buy a 2x shirt because I am only going to lose more weight so at some point it will look better and until then I'll wear the spanks under it. Hey and the shorts size 16!!! go me ;-)



This is the other yellow shirt but this is a size 2X and it felt big everywhere.



I went out and got the 1X and it looks better don't you think? but ugh that stomach.. I need to work out harder.



Next onto yellow shoes...which sandal do like better? My purple toes have to go if I'm wearing these.



Anthony was so out of control by the time we were done, my face was red from holding him down. I even had to step on his harness when he got away from me in order to stop him from running out into the street.

When the roommate got home I put him in charge on Anthony, which is a joke. A lot more screaming and yelling took place until they both got to bed. And the headache that slowly started was still going strong after they both  went to sleep! Anthony needs to be in  a padded room sometimes.

I went on Facebook for a while and caught up with everyone's life. Cheryl posted a link about a girl who ran the spartan race. If you have time read her blog.

She really is inspiring, maybe I will be ready to race next June. I really liked the part of her story with her trainer putting the muddy hand print on her back and saying "I got your back". Which gave me an idea!!

I am going to get myself a few shirts and some fabric paint. I'm going to ask a few of my friends who have really been supportive of me to put their hand in the paint then on the back of my shirt.

So if you see me coming towards you with a dish, some paint, baby wipes to clean up and a shirt with a board in it, you'll know what's going on. Fair warning this is going to happen at the Christening!!!


I continued my "lemon shopping" on line.. and got the handbag I wanted ;-) Now the lemon police told me if I got anything with more than 3 lemons on it he would take a scissors and cut all but 3 lemons off... hope he doesn't do that to my new handbag.



I also found these!!!!!!!!!! prefect one lemon, can't get in trouble there. And I need new panties, mine are all to big.



I'm taking a big risk here.. I have a feeling there will be scissors involved..LMAO




That's it, that's my day. See you tomorrow.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 22 - You SUCK!

This day did not turn out like I thought. I thought I would be screaming from the top of my lungs that I met my first weight loss goal for the year. I was going to make myself a little gold star with the number of pounds I lost and post it on the side over there by the ticker. I was going to get a new ticker with my new goal. I was going to find confetti and balloon pictures and post them... but NO this day did NOT go like that at all!

The STRESS started last night, when I grounded Anthony from watching TV because he didn't follow directions in school all week. No TV really means I'm grounded too! I had to make sure was having his bath so I could sneak and watch The Big Bang Theory. The -roommate- aka my current husband is usually good for nothing so he added to the stress of last night with delaying getting Anthony to bed. Hey I take care of the preemie baby with the monitor I think the roommate should be able to handle getting the 4 year old to bed, if not move out now!

I stayed up to work on birth announcements and they still aren't finished, but our Easter cards are done. I knew since Anthony went to bed late that means he sleeps late, and I would get to sleep late too. Good thing school is in the afternoon or we would have real problems. Alex woke up hungry at 7:30am I gave him a bottle and went back to sleep in Anthony's bed, which became my sleeping location since the boys share a room and I need to be near Alex in case of the alarm going off. Anthony sleeps in my king size bed next to the roommmate.

At 11am I jumped up, got Anthony something to eat, got his clothes ready woke him up. Put a bottle on fro Alex, got him up and dressed put him in the pack n play while I got dressed and ready. Had to encourage Anthony for 45 minutes to get dressed. He's working on doing it himself these days, so shirts go on backwards, shoes are on the wrong foot, but hey he's doing it!

Finally it's 12:40pm, time to wait for the bus and get Alex into the van so the minute Anthony is on the bus we are off to the doctors. By this time my someone from my cheering section (you know who you are and you're loved) will start posting or texting "good luck".  Today my "boyfriend" (the one that makes me smile), went as far as saying congratulations I know you made it. Heck I thought I made it. THAT STUPID SCALE OF MINE said I did it!

Got into Dr. Ransom's office with my usually nervous excited feeling, got on that super duper scale, closed my eyes and when I opened them, the number was THE EXACT SAME FROM LAST WEEK!!! What the hell! What about all my hard work? I worked out every day! I followed the meal plan!! I only ate out and had salad and peel and eat shrimp with my 3 lemon limit! CRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The print out was handed to me and it showed I went up in muscle mass and down in fat weight by the same amount so therefore the total weight was the same. Does that make me feel better? NO NO REALLY!!!!!!! I think the universe is just trying to test me. It knows this coming week is going to have a lot of ups and downs and FOOD all around. I'm going to have to navigate until after Easter like an obstacle course or that crazy spartan race Cheryl is going. I'm going to have to remember everything I learned about eating and put it to use and still get my work outs in. I still don't feel better grrrrrr

After my appointment was Alexander's check up and preemie shot. My little guy is in the 95% which is why everyone says he doesn't look like a preemie. He's measuring the size of a 7 month old, but trust me, he's a preemie, he can't support his upper body. He cried and cried when he got the shots.

Then I had just enough time to get home to meet Anthony off the bus. Once that kid is home I'm always jumping. "Mom can I have juice please?" "Mom can I have a snack" add Alexander's alarm going off and my head feels like it spins around.

At 4:30pm I took the boys and my mother to the A&P. What would have been about a 20 minute run if it was just me turned into an hour an half. EVERYONE in the A&P knows Anthony's name now. If you were shopping with us, I'm SORRY!!! He wouldn't listen, he wouldn't stay by the cart, he kept running up and down the aisle. I put him in the cart for a while then he hits and kicks. There is just no winning.

Before we left I bought my mega millions tickets. My mom said "Anthony if your mother wins she has big plans" to which I answered "if I win I'm leaving with the cloths on my back I can buy new clothes!" Finally got in the house carrying up the first set of bags at 6:10pm. I turned the oven on, started boiling water for the ravioli, then went down for the 2nd load. Four trips later, the mozzarella bread was cooking in the oven, the ravioli was boiling, the boys were upstairs and I was putting everything away.
By 6:30pm I sat Anthony down for dinner and thought about this crappy day 22 and if that stupid roommate asks me again "what I do all day" I am going to kick him in the @$$ with my new muscle mass I'm gaining! I thought about just calling it quits and saying the hell with it. But what I really really wanted to do was RUN. Well I can't possibly start running if I don't lose more weight, to lose more weight I have to stick to the diet and work out. CRAP CRAP CRAP, I have to go work out. And I think there would be a few of you coming to my house to kick my @$$ if I didn't.

I put my workout clothes on and went into the living room. The bratty child who wouldn't listen got his flag from his room and started waving it, yelling "Go mom go" How cute is that?! I did my workout with him coming in and out of the living room to watch me.
When I finished 30 minutes later, he told me he finished his dinner and even put his dish in the sink. WOW I guess I am doing something right.
I poured myself a glass of water with lemon then sat down to blog about 7:30pm at which point Alexander woke up and started crying, so another bottle for him. Anthony is grounded again tonight from the TV for not listening to me or Nonna in the A&P so he is moody. I am finally getting this done and it's almost 9pm

When the roommate comes home, I'm going to lay down. I don't know if I'll sleep all night or if it's just a nap, but I need to get away from everyone and where I want to go is too far away. So sleep will have to do. Who knows maybe I'll wake up and find out I won something with the mega millions.

Day 23 you better be better or so help me....
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 20 - Put down the Fritos!!

Dear FRIEND.. you know who you are. Put down your snack of Fritos, Doritos or whatever crappy snack you are putting into your body! You know it messes you up, makes you moody and then you feel worse because you know you have to work that off!!! Get yourself a healthy snack. Read this article from The Center for Medical Weight Loss for 6 healthy snacks

This was my healthy snack last night a 1/4 cup is only 90 calories! They are sweet, yummy and much better for your body. Do not make me have to b!t(h slap you. And dammit if you see I am falling off the wagon you better kick my big fat @$$ too!

This 90 challenge is hard for me. But when I'm in a competition I have to WIN!! Even if I'm just competing with myself. Which is one of the reasons Cheryl's Spartan Race scares me. I'll do it once then want to do it again and beat Cheryl...lol

I am so lucky to have this AMAZING group of people behind me right now. I wouldn't have even bought the dress I want to wear for Alexander's Christening, never mind bought it in 3 sizes if it wasn't for these amazing people who are helping me on my quest for the thin me. I can feel my life changing. THANK YOU!!
I hope I encourage someone else to get up and work out! As my cousin Chris says "Remember the only difference between dreams and goals is that goals are dreams that are backed by plans to get there."

And now it's time for my before and after work out pictures

My workout buddy

and sweating like a pig!

See you tomorrow on day 21 of my 90 challenge!
 Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$.

Day 18 - my birthday is soon...

I always get a knot in my stomach when it is getting closer to my birthday. Not because I hate getting older but because I am so unimportant to the people I should be important to, that its just another unimportant day to them. There are several reasons I am unhappy in the current relationship I am in and overlooking my birthday is on the list of why I HATE him!!!!!!!!!

I thought I had the prefect plan for this year. I begged my cousin to cook for me. Well my Uncle is still dealing with health issues so I thought it would be better for my cousin to do something for his Dad and not me. In fact my uncle is having tests on his lungs today! Our birthdays are only 5 days apart. My cousin Chris decided to cook for both of us on Saturday April 7th. Cant wait! I love spending time with my family!

However that leaves me doing nothing on April 4th and I'll be damned if I am going to do nothing again!!. Last year I took Anthony to his first vision therapy appointment and after had lunch with my mom and did a little shopping. I was waiting for the ASS I am currently married to, to come home from work and do something with me. But like I said I am UNIMPORTANT and the monkey's ass worked LATE and did nothing with me. I cooked for our son and went to bed early and crying.

This year Alexander has an appointment with his heart doctor that afternoon. Anthony gets home from school at 3:30pm. So I need to find something fun for me and the kids to do that early evening. I am not counting on anyone else, because I learned I will only be disappointed.

So this morning when Anthony got up I started talking to him about my birthday. I don't want him to grow up thinking it's okay to ignore the ones you love (or say you love) on their birthday too. I asked him what we need for my birthday. I loved his answers:

1. decorations
2. balloons
3. cake
4. presents

Great I thought! The kid gets it! I asked him what kind of present he wanted to get for me. He said a TRAIN!! "Umm no Anthony that's a present for you not for mommy" I told him. I asked him to think about what I like to do and he should be able to think about a present he wants to get me...granted I would be taking him and paying for it, but the point is for him to learn how to treat others.

He thought for a while looked at me and said "Mommy you like to exercise"

I felt like this:



I will be taking my little guy shopping to find something to do with "exercise" to give me for my birthday! Maybe we'll go to Target when he gets home from school that day. He loves shopping there. I would like another work out video so I'll have him help me pick one out. Or maybe I'll get a real sweat band. Or even sneakers!!!

Today I'm trying a new Jillian Michaels DVD 6 week 6 pack. I need more like 6 months 6 pack, but I want to change up my work outs. So here I go.

and done...sweating like a...what? PIG!!!

oh dear Lord that was a killer work out! I had a very hard time, but guess what, I LOVED IT!! When I master that work out I will be super strong...and it will be time to train with that CRAZY GIRL CHERYL for the Spartan Race!! Did you hear that Cheryl??!!! I know you read my blog every day!


Lets go people, get up off your butts!!! I'm on day 18 of working out and you are doing what???


Bring on Day 19!!! time to add 30 more minutes to my work out time this week. go me!

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$
PS. Anthony just came home from school. I asked him if he wanted a snack and he said "I want something healthy to eat" LOOK AT THE IMPRESSION I AM MAKING ON MY SON!!!

Day 17 - Cheryl is crazy!

I've mentioned Cheryl several times in my blog because she's the only one I know who lost a lot of weight without having a gastric bypass or lap band. There is nothing wrong with taking that path, but I knew it wasn't for me.

Two acquaintances I know had the surgery. One of them would go to Mc Donald's drive thru and get his normal 3 or 4 cheeseburgers eat them, then be so sick he would have to pull over and get sick. I saw him about a year after his surgery and he looked GREAT, I saw him 2 years ago and was shocked that he was bigger than what he was before he had the surgery! Guess those Mc Donald's got to him!

The other had the surgery I think within the last year.. because I don't really know this one very well. And every time I hear about her, she's sick OR I'm hearing where she went to dinner. WTF? really? This is how you treat your body after his surgery? Then I heard she said she's been having problems since the surgery... OF COURSE SHE IS!! Put down the donut and get your @$$ and work out!!!!

There are several more people I know who had it done. They continue to watch what they eat. I guess the point is it's all about changing your life!

When I read what you have to do BEFORE the surgery and how you have to maintain your life AFTER the surgery, I wondered to myself, if I did all that and followed the diet and worked out every day, why did I need the surgery???

I guess the answer is what works for you. The Center for Medical Weight Loss is not for everyone. Most people are surprised by the price. Others don't want to be on a liquid diet. You have to find what food plan works for you. THIS WORKS FOR ME!!

I will stick with this plan and work on learning how to eat the correct foods that give my body fluid and not just eat to eat. I will learn that I CAN have chocolate cake in moderation. And exercise needs to be a part of daily life!

Now back to Cheryl....that CRAZY B!T(H IS DOING THIS:

If that doesn't work for you view it here

Now she's planted the seed in my head and I must kill her! All I wanted to do was be able to run and the two of us go run in Philly and up the stairs of the museum like in Rocky.. but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO She wants to push my fat @$$ to do this crazy thing!!

It does have me thinking, so we'll see. Last year I started out doing Richard Simmons and this year I'm working out to that evil woman Jillian Micheals almost every day.. but not today!! I'm doing Debbie Sieber's Slim in 6 today.

So here I am.. game face on. I got a late start because I was visiting my friend Denise but if you thought I would miss a day YOU ARE CRAZY!


Here's my #1 fan


Done with my workout and I'm WHAT? - Sweating like a pig! How come those people on the videos don't look like pigs???


I wanted to do level 2 of Debbie Sieber's Slim in 6 but I couldn't find my resistance bands, so I did level one holding my weights the whole time. Hopefully I can locate them tonight and do level 2 tomorrow.

Time to do something fun, like fold laundry. If I'm lucky I'll do some scrapping, our big Amazing Digital Scrap Race at ndisb.com is coming up...which still sounds a whole lot better than Cheryl's spartan race

If you're following me, I hope you start to make your own plans and get up off your fat @$$ and work out

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$