Day 75 - it's Wednesday? felt like Tuesday ;-)

Warning..high volume of photos today.

Waves to the lemon police ;-) that's why it feels like Tuesday....moving on

I'm not sure if it's the No More Trouble Zone's DVD or the fact that I didn't work out for 4 days, but I'm having trouble getting through to the end. When Alexander started crying 20 minutes into the work out, I was soooooooooooooooo glad! Work out called on the count of a crying baby yippee!



For only 20 minutes I am still sweating like a pig. This lady is killing me, but I am seeing results. I couldn't believe my eyes when I got out of the shower and was drying my hair.. my arms are getting defined!!! Look at my shoulder you can see it! You can see the muscles.



I got dressed when into my favorite t-shirt drawer and pulled out my Bon Jovi T-shirt that I never wore because I couldn't fit into! It's a little long, I wish I knew how to sew... that's on my bucket list, I really need to get on that and learn.



Anthony was already a brat on the bus, I should have known it was going to be a nightmare going out with him and the saboteur, but the coupon I had for Payless ended today and he really needed sneakers. So off we went.

I got myself a large iced coffee and off we went. As I snapped this photo, the man sitting on the bench, on the right side of my coffee picture, asked me why I took a picture of my coffee. I told him I blog every day. I wanted to say, because if I sent this picture to the roommate he would have NO idea what kind of coffee I have, but if I send it to the "boyfriend" he would know without a doubt!





As you can see Mr. Anthony was already his crazy self. He wanted to climb on the stop sign. As I took his picture I wish I had a sharpie with me so I could write above the word stop "Don't" and below it "Believing"



And here he is in Kohl's putting on a fashion show for me.



I tried on a few things. I did not get any of these dresses I didn't like how any of them looked and they were more money than the ones I have bought on zulily.com.



I was at Kohl's on a mission to find a handbag I saw on their site, but no luck, but I figured I'd just order it on line when I got home. So I started hunting for yellow stuff since that's the "IT" summer color this year and just happens to work well with my crazy lemon craze.

I like this shirt, size 1X, but dammit I am going to have to change this blog name to My Big Fat Stomach! I refuse to buy a 2x shirt because I am only going to lose more weight so at some point it will look better and until then I'll wear the spanks under it. Hey and the shorts size 16!!! go me ;-)



This is the other yellow shirt but this is a size 2X and it felt big everywhere.



I went out and got the 1X and it looks better don't you think? but ugh that stomach.. I need to work out harder.



Next onto yellow shoes...which sandal do like better? My purple toes have to go if I'm wearing these.



Anthony was so out of control by the time we were done, my face was red from holding him down. I even had to step on his harness when he got away from me in order to stop him from running out into the street.

When the roommate got home I put him in charge on Anthony, which is a joke. A lot more screaming and yelling took place until they both got to bed. And the headache that slowly started was still going strong after they both  went to sleep! Anthony needs to be in  a padded room sometimes.

I went on Facebook for a while and caught up with everyone's life. Cheryl posted a link about a girl who ran the spartan race. If you have time read her blog.

She really is inspiring, maybe I will be ready to race next June. I really liked the part of her story with her trainer putting the muddy hand print on her back and saying "I got your back". Which gave me an idea!!

I am going to get myself a few shirts and some fabric paint. I'm going to ask a few of my friends who have really been supportive of me to put their hand in the paint then on the back of my shirt.

So if you see me coming towards you with a dish, some paint, baby wipes to clean up and a shirt with a board in it, you'll know what's going on. Fair warning this is going to happen at the Christening!!!


I continued my "lemon shopping" on line.. and got the handbag I wanted ;-) Now the lemon police told me if I got anything with more than 3 lemons on it he would take a scissors and cut all but 3 lemons off... hope he doesn't do that to my new handbag.



I also found these!!!!!!!!!! prefect one lemon, can't get in trouble there. And I need new panties, mine are all to big.



I'm taking a big risk here.. I have a feeling there will be scissors involved..LMAO




That's it, that's my day. See you tomorrow.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 22 - You SUCK!

This day did not turn out like I thought. I thought I would be screaming from the top of my lungs that I met my first weight loss goal for the year. I was going to make myself a little gold star with the number of pounds I lost and post it on the side over there by the ticker. I was going to get a new ticker with my new goal. I was going to find confetti and balloon pictures and post them... but NO this day did NOT go like that at all!

The STRESS started last night, when I grounded Anthony from watching TV because he didn't follow directions in school all week. No TV really means I'm grounded too! I had to make sure was having his bath so I could sneak and watch The Big Bang Theory. The -roommate- aka my current husband is usually good for nothing so he added to the stress of last night with delaying getting Anthony to bed. Hey I take care of the preemie baby with the monitor I think the roommate should be able to handle getting the 4 year old to bed, if not move out now!

I stayed up to work on birth announcements and they still aren't finished, but our Easter cards are done. I knew since Anthony went to bed late that means he sleeps late, and I would get to sleep late too. Good thing school is in the afternoon or we would have real problems. Alex woke up hungry at 7:30am I gave him a bottle and went back to sleep in Anthony's bed, which became my sleeping location since the boys share a room and I need to be near Alex in case of the alarm going off. Anthony sleeps in my king size bed next to the roommmate.

At 11am I jumped up, got Anthony something to eat, got his clothes ready woke him up. Put a bottle on fro Alex, got him up and dressed put him in the pack n play while I got dressed and ready. Had to encourage Anthony for 45 minutes to get dressed. He's working on doing it himself these days, so shirts go on backwards, shoes are on the wrong foot, but hey he's doing it!

Finally it's 12:40pm, time to wait for the bus and get Alex into the van so the minute Anthony is on the bus we are off to the doctors. By this time my someone from my cheering section (you know who you are and you're loved) will start posting or texting "good luck".  Today my "boyfriend" (the one that makes me smile), went as far as saying congratulations I know you made it. Heck I thought I made it. THAT STUPID SCALE OF MINE said I did it!

Got into Dr. Ransom's office with my usually nervous excited feeling, got on that super duper scale, closed my eyes and when I opened them, the number was THE EXACT SAME FROM LAST WEEK!!! What the hell! What about all my hard work? I worked out every day! I followed the meal plan!! I only ate out and had salad and peel and eat shrimp with my 3 lemon limit! CRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The print out was handed to me and it showed I went up in muscle mass and down in fat weight by the same amount so therefore the total weight was the same. Does that make me feel better? NO NO REALLY!!!!!!! I think the universe is just trying to test me. It knows this coming week is going to have a lot of ups and downs and FOOD all around. I'm going to have to navigate until after Easter like an obstacle course or that crazy spartan race Cheryl is going. I'm going to have to remember everything I learned about eating and put it to use and still get my work outs in. I still don't feel better grrrrrr

After my appointment was Alexander's check up and preemie shot. My little guy is in the 95% which is why everyone says he doesn't look like a preemie. He's measuring the size of a 7 month old, but trust me, he's a preemie, he can't support his upper body. He cried and cried when he got the shots.

Then I had just enough time to get home to meet Anthony off the bus. Once that kid is home I'm always jumping. "Mom can I have juice please?" "Mom can I have a snack" add Alexander's alarm going off and my head feels like it spins around.

At 4:30pm I took the boys and my mother to the A&P. What would have been about a 20 minute run if it was just me turned into an hour an half. EVERYONE in the A&P knows Anthony's name now. If you were shopping with us, I'm SORRY!!! He wouldn't listen, he wouldn't stay by the cart, he kept running up and down the aisle. I put him in the cart for a while then he hits and kicks. There is just no winning.

Before we left I bought my mega millions tickets. My mom said "Anthony if your mother wins she has big plans" to which I answered "if I win I'm leaving with the cloths on my back I can buy new clothes!" Finally got in the house carrying up the first set of bags at 6:10pm. I turned the oven on, started boiling water for the ravioli, then went down for the 2nd load. Four trips later, the mozzarella bread was cooking in the oven, the ravioli was boiling, the boys were upstairs and I was putting everything away.
By 6:30pm I sat Anthony down for dinner and thought about this crappy day 22 and if that stupid roommate asks me again "what I do all day" I am going to kick him in the @$$ with my new muscle mass I'm gaining! I thought about just calling it quits and saying the hell with it. But what I really really wanted to do was RUN. Well I can't possibly start running if I don't lose more weight, to lose more weight I have to stick to the diet and work out. CRAP CRAP CRAP, I have to go work out. And I think there would be a few of you coming to my house to kick my @$$ if I didn't.

I put my workout clothes on and went into the living room. The bratty child who wouldn't listen got his flag from his room and started waving it, yelling "Go mom go" How cute is that?! I did my workout with him coming in and out of the living room to watch me.
When I finished 30 minutes later, he told me he finished his dinner and even put his dish in the sink. WOW I guess I am doing something right.
I poured myself a glass of water with lemon then sat down to blog about 7:30pm at which point Alexander woke up and started crying, so another bottle for him. Anthony is grounded again tonight from the TV for not listening to me or Nonna in the A&P so he is moody. I am finally getting this done and it's almost 9pm

When the roommate comes home, I'm going to lay down. I don't know if I'll sleep all night or if it's just a nap, but I need to get away from everyone and where I want to go is too far away. So sleep will have to do. Who knows maybe I'll wake up and find out I won something with the mega millions.

Day 23 you better be better or so help me....
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 9 - Do or do not. There is no try!

thanks Yoda for today's motivation!


Some how with my new 90 day challenge attitude, I have become motivation and inspiration. Me? the fat chick is inspiring people. HOLY MOLY, this is all new to me. I hope I can keep it up and if I can't the same people give me a push.

I told everyone in my household when I got up today, everyone had to get out of the living room for me to do my 30 minutes.
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I started writing that this morning and LIFE happened!! it's after midnight now so that means it's day 10 and not day 9 anymore. I wanted to finish blogging because that's part of my challenge.

I put in level 2 of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. How did those people on the biggest loser not drop dead on her? I thought the Surrender Exercise was a killer HA HA HA HA HA

I had a very hard time doing most of level 2 and the buckets of sweat where just pouring off me

I still can't do a full push up, I'm still on my knees but hey I couldn't do them at ALL when I started so I'm sure I'll get used to this level two in a few weeks.

I'm doing great with all the crunch moves. I remember when I couldn't do them either.

((today's photos brought to you by Ed))

The whole time I was working out I was wondering...How many Calories are in a Starbucks Tazo Chai Tea Latte?? -   answer 240

Like I said LIFE kept happening tonight and we went to dinner.
I had a salad and

and peel and eat shrimp with my 3 LEMON LIMIT ((inside joke - don't ask))


Tomorrow - well today, I will do Level 2 again of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and sweat some more buckets.

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 8 - funny thing happened on the way to the doctor

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I have been pissed off all week that my scale keeps showing me up 2lbs. There's really no doubt in my mind that it was in fact up the first week of March after my melt down into that black hole I get sucked into when life sucks! I don't remember eating anything else but potato chips that week.

But I recognized what I was doing and STOPPED and my 90 challenge was born. I know there might be times when I can't work out or I eat other food, so it's a 90 day 90% on target challenge. That gives me a -little- wiggle room, like for CAKE on my birthday. (cousin Chris if you read my blog I like cannoli cake, but one little cannoli with a candle will do!)


I weighed myself again last night and the damn scale still said up 2lbs. I headed to Dr. Ransom's with all the positives on my mind that happened this week and WOW there was a lot to be proud about.

1. I met the goal to work out 180 minutes in a week
2. I went OVER that goal by 30 minutes
3. I drank more than 8 glasses of water a day
4. I did the surrender exercise!
5. I blogged every day
6. and most importantly I am really learning to recognize when I slip up and when I'm doing great!

I got on that super duper scale that tells you the fat weight, muscle weight and water weight, closed my eyes and hoped for the best. I heard Carmon say "you're down 2 pounds" WHAT?!?!? DOWN!!!!!!!!!! I could not wipe the smile off my face! My evil scale had lied to me all week.

I am now only 6 pounds away from my lowest weigh in before I took the pregnancy test and 16 days away from when that lowest weigh in happened last year! I have 2 weigh ins to go. I don't want to make myself crazy and push for 3lbs a week but I will be THRILLED if the weigh in before my birthday puts me right where I was last year.

I left the doctor's office with that smile, put Alexander in the van and played my theme song for the year over and over until we were home.


I came in the door, put Alexander in the pack n play, put in that evil woman Jillian Michaels, changed my clothes and did my 30 minute work out! I knew I had to get it in right then or it would be more difficult as the day went on.
before:

after:


I was still smiling from my 2lbs down even after doing EIGHT of those kick ass Surrender Exercise!

Sure enough if I didn't get the work out in, I would be struggling right now with my crazy 4 year old, a crying 4 month old and my husband to get time for myself to work out for 30 minutes. I am not sure how I'm going to do it this weekend but I'll figure it out.

I am glad I pushed myself to get past day 5, I was really tired and could have just stopped working out. I am feeling GREAT!!!!!!!

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 7 - Why am I doing this?

If you want to see what I'm doing every day but forget to come over to my blog you can have my blog sent to your email.  Just put your email address in the "follow by email" box on the right side under my exercise ticker. Look over there  ---------->

I must be crazy, this is torture! All my muscles are burning. My thighs hurt going up and down my stairs and I keep asking myself why am I doing this??

answers:
1. so I don't die from a heart attack or other obesity related disease
2. so I won't be insulin resistance any more
3. to teach my boys you can do anything with hard work
4. I don't want to stop my boys from doing things just because I am too fat to do it too.
5. because I don't want a gastric bypass.


bonus answers:
1. to walk into a room and not say to myself "you're the fattest one here"
2. to stop buying clothes in plus size stores. I don't even know what sizes are out of a plus size store.
3. to own a little black dress
4. I want to run a marathon
5. and come on, the sex just has to be even better if I can be flipped around or upside down! Like this one looks like fun, and if I can get into that bridge position then these works outs are really working!

My stupid stupid scale totally hates me this week it's still saying I am up 2lbs. I am going to cry when I get to my weigh in on Friday.

I am still pushing myself. In the past I would have stopped dieting because the scale didn't move. But I noticed my stomach seems to be in more on the sides and I didn't get sick looking at a picture of me from behind! So something is working.

I was planning on doing Jillian Michaels again today and push myself to do more of those killer Surrender Exercise but the throbbing in my thighs hasn't
stopped since I did them yesterday. When I was laying in bed last night my quadriceps were on fire. Good thing I went to massage school, I kept rubbing them until they didn't hurt anymore.  So I'll be skipping Ms. Michaels and doing Debbie Sieber today.

I'll be back to continue blogging after my kid is on the bus and I do my work out. (11am)
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(back 3pm)

There is something wrong with me!! at the very last minute I switched DVDs from nice sweet Debbie Siebers who shows you other ways to do something if you cant or lets you march in place when it's to much to that mean b!t(h who yells at you Jillian Michaels!

I pushed myself and when she got to the surrenders I kept saying "come on 7!" and started giggling and thinking of this scene from Friends.


I did it, another day, sweating like a pig.. do pigs even sweat?


Not only did I make it to my goal minutes this week, I surpassed it! But I'm still going to kick and scream and CRY at my weigh in tomorrow at 1pm MY SCALE IS UP BY 2LBS!!!!

And to all my SKINNY friends who are checking on me, GET YOUR BUTTS UP AND MOVE!! if my fat ass has worked out 210 minutes this week, YOU CAN WORK OUT 10 MINUTES TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

pictures from today

the only photo I took during the work out

my sweaty face before I jumped in the shower

my set up of shakes for the day

Thanks for reading :-0 Still Fat in NJ

Day 3 of working out

Dear old you,
You can do it. I'm thin now. Don't give up. I know it's hard but it will get easier, you'll be able to work out longer, you'll even have heavier weights to use, cute work out clothes too. Believe in yourself, remember your theme song to keep you going when your legs and arms are burning.
In 18 short months you'll take your kids to a water park and won't feel like a beached whale. Keep up the good work, you are awesome! Just keep believing in a better future for yourself.

Thanks for reading :-0 Still Fat in NJ

down 3.5 this week!!!

Totally amazing!! I knew I felt it but I thought it would be 1.5 MAYBE 2lbs not 3.5. I started crying when the scale showed the number. I even asked "is that right?"

Now I really need to make it my mission this week to work out again. I should just stop what I'm doing and when I put my older one on the bus do a work out. Okay that's the plan for Monday... 1pm put a work out dvd in and do my best.

Thanks for reading :-0 Still Fat in NJ

Today I feel beat down...

We all have those days...those emotional draining days. That's when I usually eat, eat and eat...but today I didn't!

Today started out okay enough... my husband woke me up early and even thou I didn't want to get out of bed and even laid back down for a while, I picked myself up and did Ramp It Up section of Slim in 6® . I knew I had to get it done before the meeting I had about my son at 11:30.

This workout is hard. I do my best and keep up. I thought the first half was bad but now that I'm doing the whole 47 minutes the 2nd half with the resistance bands makes me sweat more. I swear to you I am seeing a difference in my body already. My sides and waste are feeling smaller, my arms are feeling stronger. And the best is, today when I got dressed, I looked down and didn't see my stomach sticking out past my boobs.

I'm really glad I got that work out in, because after the meeting I was too drained to do anything more than run a few errands. I even napped with my son this afternoon.

Tomorrow is my weekly weigh in. I'm hoping for big numbers, no whammies. I am very excited to tell Dr. Ransom that I did 3 hours of exercise this week. I am hoping to see my muscle mass up!!

I'll keep you posted... well I mean I'll write my skinny self a another entry tomorrow.

Still Fat in NJ

There's a thin girl inside me trying to get out!

And she's taken control!! I worked out again today. One more workout and I will have actually made the 3 hour mark that Dr. Ransom wants me to make every week. The most I've done in a week is just about 2 hours. I know I can do it.

We had things to do this morning and while out my son fell asleep before we got home. I carried him up the stairs...all 40lbs of him.. it was hard..I kept thinking I used to carry that much weight on my body. My scale has me down 40lb but the doctor's scale is 5lbs difference. Anyway, I knew it was a perfect time to go work out. I put him in bed and did the Ramp It Up section of Slim in 6®

My shoulders are killing me. The resistance band part is amazing and hard. I am feeling the burn as they say so I know I'm doing it right. As I'm sweating and it's burning, I keep thinking "I want to wear shorts this summer". Plus we have a wedding to go to in June that my son is the ring bearer. I want to look good and wear a dress. I can do it!!!

I am really looking forward to my weigh in this week. With all the exercising I'm doing I am hoping to see my muscle mass go up. My personal scale hasn't moved at all. It sometimes happens when I'm getting close to that time of the month or it could be because I'm burning fat and building muscle.

That's it from me.
Tomorrow is another day.

Thanks for stopping by
Still fat in NJ

down 1/2lb

so the scale said I'm down a half pound. In the past I would have been pissed but I'm not. Like I said my doctor at the center for medical weight loss has an awesome scale. I lost a pound of fat this week. That's GREAT!! and because I'm working out my muscle mass went up 1/2 lb. So that's why the scale only showed a 1/2 loss.

I'm not upset, not discouraged... I would be if I was only going by a normal scale. I'd feel like I have been working hard and it's not moving.. but the fact is it is moving... there's more to it than just a single number on the scale.

I hope to be able to get a work out in today, but with life there is always unexpected problems. So I'm hoping my husband comes home early so I can get some work out time in. If not that's the first thing I'm doing when I get up tomorrow.

Still Fat in NJ but feeling better!!