Challenge Accepted

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My girl Cheryl  has been struggling with staying on plan and eating healthy. So have I and it shows. I have been able to lose up to 10lbs a month, but so far this summer, I've lost 7lbs! Yeah I know some of you would say that's great BUT YOU'RE WRONG.

I totally felt the slipping going on in my head and little by little my work outs were less. NO I cannot let this happen. So while I was sitting in the airport yesterday waiting for my flight and texting Cheryl. I could "hear" the anxiety in her texts. She wants to fit into her wedding dress on Jan 5, 2013. And I want a NEW dress for her wedding so I told her "Challenge Accepted"

Then today my new 20 dollar winter coat came from Zulily.com which I knew wouldn't fit me yet so that's another challenge.

new coat


I am about to get the boys ready and go out for a walk/run so I'll finish blogging later.


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Here I am coming home from my late night walk/run with Twiggy.

We did 2.73 miles up and down these hills. I am so sore. Tomorrow Twiggy can't walk with me so I will either walk earlier or do a Jillian Micheals DVD.

I drank my walk ate correctly and worked out....so in other words it was a GREAT DAY!

My walking buddy

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I must say I'm shocked by the scale today. I totally didn't expect to even see it go down. When I get upset I shove food in my mouth. And I've been upset a lot lately. Even tonight... right now the roommate is fighting with Anthony.

The roommate left the door open, I closed it and asked him why he didn't close the door. In a typical child like manner he said "Anthony was the one who was behind me" Really? blaming the child for not closing the door? It's this every day stuff that has just gotten to me over the years!

Anyway I was super pleased with myself today at the weigh in despite my need to eat food when I'm mad. I'm 7.5 pounds away from my next goal.. and I'm going to push hard for these 7.5lbs and that means focus, determination and blogging every day!

If you don't see a new post by me in the morning then YELL AT ME!! Got that Cheryl? 

I went to the eye doctor today for the first time in about 20 years. Alexander was with me all day while Anthony stayed home with the saboteur.  He was so good all day with me.
I didn't know they were going to dilate my eyes. I drove home very slowly and couldn't move around because I couldn't see! I don't know how Anthony deals with his eye problems!! He had to help me walk into the kitchen to get him a drink.

I called the roommate and put it in terms he understood. GET YOUR ASS HOME I CAN'T SEE. To my surprise that worked, he got home about 5:40pm and I slept off the dizzy feeling I had from seeing blurry.

At 8pm I woke up, changed my clothes and out the door I went for a walk with Twiggy. I am so happy she lives around the corner! It's so much better to walk with someone else.

The moon was AWESOME tonight! My cell phone didn't get a good photo but it was great. I hope you got to see it if you were out tonight.

I am feeling good, strong and determined... I haven't felt this good in a few months. I want to meet this next goal before the end of the month!

I'm my own worst enemy

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The days have been hard. I'm trying to focus and get organized. I can't do everything at once, but even trying to take baby steps isn't getting me any place. I miss working out. I'm swimming and walking but I miss the DVD work outs.

I haven't been faithful to MYSELF, I haven't put myself first before everything else. It's hard! The boys are demanding. I'm TIRED!!And if you have been following my blog you know the roommate is useless!

I love being home with my boys. I enjoy spending time with them and teaching Anthony things but most days it's a challenge just to get him to follow directions. He won't even stay with me in a store, maybe I should tie him to the stroller!!

This week "Code Yellow" was announced at my local Kohl's because Anthony took off. After running around the store pushing Alexander in the stroller I found him and we left. He wasn't happy to be leaving but I stuck to my guns. I count running around Kohl's pushing the stroller as a workout!!

Tonight during the daily fight with the roommate I heard myself say "Do or do not, there is no try". Shortly after I left the house with Anthony to pick up formula. For the 1 1/2 hours we were out all I could think about was "do or do not" and I have not been doing!!

When I got home I was in a different mind set and went for a late night walk. I tried to get  mapmywalk.com to work on my phone but it wouldn't! That didn't stop me, I went for my walk anyway.

I just signed up to mapmywalk.com using my computer and mapped out my walk, it was 1.75miles tonight. I plan on walking again tomorrow night. Hopefully the app will work now.

I might feel off my game and things are going slower, but there's no doubt there is a change in how I look from last fall.



The first photo I was pregnant with Alexander but really not much off from my heaviest weight not pregnant, so I'm using that photo as a before picture.

Tomorrow is my weigh in. I have no idea if I lost anything from last time. But I do know that for the next 16 days I'm going to work hard!!! 

Day 63, 64, 65 and 66

Well... Day 63 - Friday May 11, 2012 hit me hard. I found out that my brother made plans with my mother for mother's day. Nobody told me, nobody included me and it made me feel so left out.

I knew the roommate had nothing planned. I didn't care, I just didn't want to cook for  him. I never asked my mother to do anything, well, because I'm tired of being the one who always makes the plans. But when nobody else stepped up on Friday I asked my brother if he would like to do something just the 3 of us, I found out he made plans with her and his friend and his friend's mother. I just sat with my mouth open wondering what is wrong with me that nobody ever thinks of me?

I still feel like the kid nobody ever cared about. I cried and cried and cried after I found out I wasn't even a thought in anyone's head and worse of all, yet again my mother didn't have the decency to just tell me she made plans with my brother. It's the SHOCK of finding out that kills me.

Just like neither of them could be bothered telling me they were going away for Christmas. My mouth dropped open when my Aunt told me early in December. The B!tch didn't say a WORD to me until she was walking  out the door on Christmas Eve morning.

And another kicker that has me crying, the minute I said I didn't know if I could go to Disney she called my brother to make plans with him. They will be gone for Halloween and my son's 1st birthday!! What pisses me off with this, is when she goes with us she doesn't offer to pay for anything. When she goes with my brother she pays for the whole trip! WTF?!

Thanks to my "boyfriend" I was able to stop crying pull myself together, get Anthony on the bus and get to my doctor's for my weekly weigh in. And just like I thought the scale didn't move. I didn't feel my "new and improved DID" self much last week so I guess the work outs weren't hard enough. It's not like I ate cake all week.

I got home and made plans with Twiggy to go walking/running. It is hard as hell to run up these hills pushing a stroller, but every UP hill I run!




And Anthony is running too


After we got home, I showered and went shopping with Twiggy for her house warming party next Saturday.
Got home late, stayed up to read some more about Mr. Grey then went to bed.



Day 64 - I spent the whole day cleaning this pig pen! And it's still not spotless. I can't stand all the clutter so every day I'm picking something and cleaning it out. The roommate keeps so much crap it's just so overwhelming to clean everything up at once. And just picking up the normal stuff around here is a lot of work. I feel like we live in a shoe box.

The boy's room is so small that Anthony can't play in there because there is no room. So all the toys end up all around the house. It hit me while cleaning to SWITCH ROOMS with them.  Now I'm on a mission... and when I have a mission WATCH OUT!

By switching rooms, the roommate can't have all this crap because he won't have the room. He'll have to remove it or I'll throw it out.  And since I'm planning on getting rid of him, let him help me now move the rooms around so I don't have to do it later.

Anthony spent the day playing with my mom and she even took him to church!! Then after church Anthony wanted to go out to eat so we all went to the Chinese Buffet.

I drank water and ate peal and eat shrimp and crab legs. And of course I stuck to my 3 lemon limit



Could you please past the salt? hehehe

Came home, read some more went to bed really really late! I finished chapter 8.




Day 65 -  well you know how this is going to play out...
I slept late at least. I didn't feel like working out, I didn't feel like doing anything. I had my coffee and shake for breakfast



and I wrapped my nails all day long while taking care of Alexander while the roommate played with Anthony outside.





I broke down and started sobbing again around 6:45pm. I couldn't stop. I got up 5 times to wash my face by the tears just kept coming down. I got to spend the day and watch all the shows I recorded and wrap my nails, but I just couldn't stop feeling so bad that I was left out.

The roommate got Anthony to sleep. I had to deal with fussy Alexander who's teething, so I didn't get to bed until 2:30am.



Day 66 - I feel so much better today!! Thanks to "boyfriend" who once again cheers me up, puts a grin on my face that I can't remove and always surprises me.

I got up early, had my wake up coffee and got my work out done! (you can see my eyes are still not right from crying)




I'm very happy to say I did the whole 40 minutes of Jillian Michaels no more trouble zones! She's KILLING ME!!!!!! But I like it.

Because I got my work out in early, I did a lot today, cleaned the side of the TV and threw some of the roommate's junk out, cleaned the kitchen counter off, put all the dishes away, the bottles away, folded clothes, put them away, made dinner (well I do that every night) and even had time to play with my favorite person. I did more but I threw my list out already and I'm making my to do list for tomorrow.

I am going to try to get my work out in every morning before sleeping beauty wakes  up. Once that kid is up, he's a lot to handle.

Tomorrow is my FAVORITE day of the week and I'm hoping I don't have to kill any lemons


Now you know where I was all weekend.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 61 - TRYING? Really???

Didn't I cover this?? yes I did, it's right there on day 9 DO OR DO NOT THERE IS NO TRY!!! Today's story...

After doing Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones, Anthony came home from school and we went for a walk/run.




Twiggy couldn't come with us, but I didn't care, we have been trying to get out and walk all week. My first mission, run my fat ass up my hill pushing the stroller (with the car seat, monitor and Alex)

This is the top of my hill. My van is the 4th car down on the right. I was where the truck is parked in the drive way on the left, when I started running...well if you want to call what I'm doing running, it feels that way but I bet it doesn't look that way..LOL



Next we went down the hill, made a left and went up some more hills




I had to start playing games with myself to stay motivate, so I would get to a mail box, focus on the next mail box, push the stroller and run!




Alexander really seemed to be enjoying the walk/run too.


And Anthony LOVES the freedom to run! He also likes my game "run to the next mail box and stop" I just have to remember to bring him a drink next time. We drank all my water. Alex looks pissed in this photo as if to say "come on lady run some more I like the ride"
We got back up to the top of the hill again and Anthony has "a great idea" he wanted me to let go of the stroller so it would go "super fast" down the hill because it would be "fun".
I told him Alexander wouldn't be able to stop, the smarty pants pointed to the brake on the bottom and said he could use that!


Well Alexander did NOT go for a ride...LOL And Anthony soon was distracted by the rocks, which he called Mt. Everest It took me a while to understand what he was saying.. hear for yourself, I took a video

We headed home on the street behind ours, running up that hill too! When we got back down the other side and were at the corner of our block I could see my neighbor's door was open. So we went over to say hello. 

Both Anthony and I were all sweaty, Alex was happy. She came outside and said "What are you doing TRYING to lose weight?" TRYING!!! as if she can't see the difference in me at all!

The scene from My Cousin Vinny with Mrs Riley is playing in my head IT'S TIME FOR A THICKER SET!!!

Followed by Yoda saying "Do or Do Not, There is No Try"

I have no come back for people who are blind as a bat!  I know I'm doing it, I know I look better, but it does piss me off.

I got my monkey's home and fed. Then I took a shower, twisted my hair up, put my cool dragon earring on that I bought myself for getting to my goal much faster than I thought, gave myself a mini pedicure, put on my new purple sun dress and then my big plans for the evening? Wash the dishes!!

Here's my cool dragon earring I got for myself. He's my new pet.. he needs a name :-)

okay I'm done with my blah blah blah blah blah! See you tomorrow.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$
PS if you were wondering about the roommate, he was only home for a little while then went to bed, so just a -little fighting- tonight, not even worth blogging about.