Day 63, 64, 65 and 66

Well... Day 63 - Friday May 11, 2012 hit me hard. I found out that my brother made plans with my mother for mother's day. Nobody told me, nobody included me and it made me feel so left out.

I knew the roommate had nothing planned. I didn't care, I just didn't want to cook for  him. I never asked my mother to do anything, well, because I'm tired of being the one who always makes the plans. But when nobody else stepped up on Friday I asked my brother if he would like to do something just the 3 of us, I found out he made plans with her and his friend and his friend's mother. I just sat with my mouth open wondering what is wrong with me that nobody ever thinks of me?

I still feel like the kid nobody ever cared about. I cried and cried and cried after I found out I wasn't even a thought in anyone's head and worse of all, yet again my mother didn't have the decency to just tell me she made plans with my brother. It's the SHOCK of finding out that kills me.

Just like neither of them could be bothered telling me they were going away for Christmas. My mouth dropped open when my Aunt told me early in December. The B!tch didn't say a WORD to me until she was walking  out the door on Christmas Eve morning.

And another kicker that has me crying, the minute I said I didn't know if I could go to Disney she called my brother to make plans with him. They will be gone for Halloween and my son's 1st birthday!! What pisses me off with this, is when she goes with us she doesn't offer to pay for anything. When she goes with my brother she pays for the whole trip! WTF?!

Thanks to my "boyfriend" I was able to stop crying pull myself together, get Anthony on the bus and get to my doctor's for my weekly weigh in. And just like I thought the scale didn't move. I didn't feel my "new and improved DID" self much last week so I guess the work outs weren't hard enough. It's not like I ate cake all week.

I got home and made plans with Twiggy to go walking/running. It is hard as hell to run up these hills pushing a stroller, but every UP hill I run!




And Anthony is running too


After we got home, I showered and went shopping with Twiggy for her house warming party next Saturday.
Got home late, stayed up to read some more about Mr. Grey then went to bed.



Day 64 - I spent the whole day cleaning this pig pen! And it's still not spotless. I can't stand all the clutter so every day I'm picking something and cleaning it out. The roommate keeps so much crap it's just so overwhelming to clean everything up at once. And just picking up the normal stuff around here is a lot of work. I feel like we live in a shoe box.

The boy's room is so small that Anthony can't play in there because there is no room. So all the toys end up all around the house. It hit me while cleaning to SWITCH ROOMS with them.  Now I'm on a mission... and when I have a mission WATCH OUT!

By switching rooms, the roommate can't have all this crap because he won't have the room. He'll have to remove it or I'll throw it out.  And since I'm planning on getting rid of him, let him help me now move the rooms around so I don't have to do it later.

Anthony spent the day playing with my mom and she even took him to church!! Then after church Anthony wanted to go out to eat so we all went to the Chinese Buffet.

I drank water and ate peal and eat shrimp and crab legs. And of course I stuck to my 3 lemon limit



Could you please past the salt? hehehe

Came home, read some more went to bed really really late! I finished chapter 8.




Day 65 -  well you know how this is going to play out...
I slept late at least. I didn't feel like working out, I didn't feel like doing anything. I had my coffee and shake for breakfast



and I wrapped my nails all day long while taking care of Alexander while the roommate played with Anthony outside.





I broke down and started sobbing again around 6:45pm. I couldn't stop. I got up 5 times to wash my face by the tears just kept coming down. I got to spend the day and watch all the shows I recorded and wrap my nails, but I just couldn't stop feeling so bad that I was left out.

The roommate got Anthony to sleep. I had to deal with fussy Alexander who's teething, so I didn't get to bed until 2:30am.



Day 66 - I feel so much better today!! Thanks to "boyfriend" who once again cheers me up, puts a grin on my face that I can't remove and always surprises me.

I got up early, had my wake up coffee and got my work out done! (you can see my eyes are still not right from crying)




I'm very happy to say I did the whole 40 minutes of Jillian Michaels no more trouble zones! She's KILLING ME!!!!!! But I like it.

Because I got my work out in early, I did a lot today, cleaned the side of the TV and threw some of the roommate's junk out, cleaned the kitchen counter off, put all the dishes away, the bottles away, folded clothes, put them away, made dinner (well I do that every night) and even had time to play with my favorite person. I did more but I threw my list out already and I'm making my to do list for tomorrow.

I am going to try to get my work out in every morning before sleeping beauty wakes  up. Once that kid is up, he's a lot to handle.

Tomorrow is my FAVORITE day of the week and I'm hoping I don't have to kill any lemons


Now you know where I was all weekend.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 61 - TRYING? Really???

Didn't I cover this?? yes I did, it's right there on day 9 DO OR DO NOT THERE IS NO TRY!!! Today's story...

After doing Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones, Anthony came home from school and we went for a walk/run.




Twiggy couldn't come with us, but I didn't care, we have been trying to get out and walk all week. My first mission, run my fat ass up my hill pushing the stroller (with the car seat, monitor and Alex)

This is the top of my hill. My van is the 4th car down on the right. I was where the truck is parked in the drive way on the left, when I started running...well if you want to call what I'm doing running, it feels that way but I bet it doesn't look that way..LOL



Next we went down the hill, made a left and went up some more hills




I had to start playing games with myself to stay motivate, so I would get to a mail box, focus on the next mail box, push the stroller and run!




Alexander really seemed to be enjoying the walk/run too.


And Anthony LOVES the freedom to run! He also likes my game "run to the next mail box and stop" I just have to remember to bring him a drink next time. We drank all my water. Alex looks pissed in this photo as if to say "come on lady run some more I like the ride"
We got back up to the top of the hill again and Anthony has "a great idea" he wanted me to let go of the stroller so it would go "super fast" down the hill because it would be "fun".
I told him Alexander wouldn't be able to stop, the smarty pants pointed to the brake on the bottom and said he could use that!


Well Alexander did NOT go for a ride...LOL And Anthony soon was distracted by the rocks, which he called Mt. Everest It took me a while to understand what he was saying.. hear for yourself, I took a video

We headed home on the street behind ours, running up that hill too! When we got back down the other side and were at the corner of our block I could see my neighbor's door was open. So we went over to say hello. 

Both Anthony and I were all sweaty, Alex was happy. She came outside and said "What are you doing TRYING to lose weight?" TRYING!!! as if she can't see the difference in me at all!

The scene from My Cousin Vinny with Mrs Riley is playing in my head IT'S TIME FOR A THICKER SET!!!

Followed by Yoda saying "Do or Do Not, There is No Try"

I have no come back for people who are blind as a bat!  I know I'm doing it, I know I look better, but it does piss me off.

I got my monkey's home and fed. Then I took a shower, twisted my hair up, put my cool dragon earring on that I bought myself for getting to my goal much faster than I thought, gave myself a mini pedicure, put on my new purple sun dress and then my big plans for the evening? Wash the dishes!!

Here's my cool dragon earring I got for myself. He's my new pet.. he needs a name :-)

okay I'm done with my blah blah blah blah blah! See you tomorrow.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$
PS if you were wondering about the roommate, he was only home for a little while then went to bed, so just a -little fighting- tonight, not even worth blogging about.

Day 54 - double workout yesterday

After my workout with that evil Ms Michaels yesterday, I went for a walk/run in these hills with Twiggy and my mom while pushing the stroller with Alexander running around Anthony so he wouldn't run on everyone's lawn.. it was useless...lol

That stroller has to be close to 40lbs, it's Alexander who's 18.5lbs, his monitor, the car seat and the stroller...my shoulders are KILLING ME!!!

I know you can't tell from the pictures but I was RUNNING up that hill, if you look my shoulders are all bunched up from pushing that thing.  I keep telling myself that next year this time I'm going to be looking for one of those jogging strollers on eBay because Anthony and I will really be running.  But in the mean time, my fat ass.. well in this case my fat shoulders are aching!!






Twiggy and I were talking about Fifty Shades of Gray on the walk/run and my mom said "Oh I heard about that I should read it huh?" We both screamed NO YOU SHOULDN'T ...lol I think my mother would freak with soooo many different things. First off she's a big "no sex until you get married" type person.. umm Mom do you try on shoes before you buy them? grrrr  Well maybe her views have changed a little over the years but overall she thinks sex should be with someone you love.. well hell if they can't do it right, I don't want to love them! ;-)

Then last night I stayed up to create a special facebook photo cover for The Lemon Police's birthday on Sunday. Went to bed about 1:30am and at 3am Alexander's monitor went off. That was it I couldn't get back to sleep. I tossed and turned for a few hours and then at 5am I started reading another few chapters of Fifty Shades of Gray.

I finally went back to bed about 6:30ish, waking again at 7:30 when Alex started fussing that he was hungry. Fed him, got him back down and took another nap from 8:30 until 10:30. Anthony was still sleeping at 11:30 when I pulled him out of bed and told him to get up.

The roommate is suppose to take care of Anthony and get him down every night, but it's always a problem. I'm dealing with Alex and have to stay up for his last feeding, I give Anthony his bath get things ready for school the next day and start saying "Get him in the bedroom" around 8:30pm. Anthony likes to watch a movie or show before bed so all he has to do is sit in there with his lap top next to his son.. but nooooooooooooooooo, that's too hard for him. He seems to have to do a bunch of things right when I say "get him into the bedroom"

If I go in with Anthony and watch the movie, I'll fall asleep and that worries me. Now the stupid roommate can fall asleep ANYWHERE at any time. I have pictures of him that he's falling asleep while giving Anthony a bottle while Anthony was in his rocker.  I could never let him stay up to be the one to take care of Anthony because I was always scared he would  fall asleep with him in his arms and crush him to death so I won't let him stay up with Alexander either. So he has to be the one who gets Anthony down.

He just doesn't get this whole parenting thing at all. Hell he doesn't get anything, other than work.

Today I went to Anthony's school with Alexander in the baby sling for Anthony's field day. It rained so it was in his class room. I was there for about an hour, took some pictures, did two errands, came home, changed into my work out clothes, fed Alex, got Anthony off the bus and playing with Nonna, while Alexander watched Baby Einsteins. Once he feel asleep I  had been sitting for about an hour and I could feel the aching in my shoulder and how tired I really am.

The stupid roommate just came home so I decided yesterday double work out counts for today and I'm taking a nap!!

I'm pretty sure this week is the week I won't lose much. It seems to happen once a month and it was on March 30 last time. My home scale hasn't moved at all this week and not for a lack of working out or drinking my water. So I'm not stressing over it, nor am I going to kill myself either. The weight is coming off, I'm doing everything correctly and getting enough sleep is also very important... so NAP TIME

zzzzZZZzzzz
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 49 - I wanna celebrate and live my life

This is my song of the day

Today I did 5 sets of 20 jumping jacks and 2 sets of 7 push ups! In January I couldn't do any of that!! In 4 short months I am seeing such a change in my attitude, my endurance and my clothes! Its really so hard for me to believe it's this simple.

You just have to push yourself a little bit at a time, THERE'S NO EXCUSE. Just get your ass up and do something for 30 minutes a day, WALK, jog in place, jumping jacks. I started out "sweatin to the oldies" because that's all I could do. Now I'm keeping up with that evil b!tch Jillian Michaels... is it just me? or does her voice get on your nerves too?? I have to mute the b!tch and put on music.

I did my work out before Anthony was even awake




I swear I just sweat buckets!!! Maybe this is how the fat is leaving my body...LOL 





I took a shower, got Anthony up, fed Alex, got Anthony ready for school then off I went for my weight in with my #1 fan Alexander. I was hoping for a good number, not an AMAZING ONE!!!! down 4.5 pounds in one week!!!!!!!! This is my best EVER! I thought 4.5 in two weeks was good.

Now I can't get too cocky, because that will just make me screw up. Plus I know I have weeks where nothing changes. But as along as I drink my water with my 3 lemon limit, work out every day, I will see my body change. Sometimes it won't be about the number on the scale but how much I can do physically.

I'm making a list of things I want to be able to do

• push ups - getting there
• sit ups
• climb a rock wall
• hang from the monkey bars
• move hand over hand from bar to bar on the monkey bars
• RUN - started running a little while walking with Twiggy
• do the crazy sparta race with Cheryl-  in 2014 sister not next year!
• and I want to hike in Zion National Park and see The Subway
  

I am hearing the Rocky Theme in my head a lot as I push to reach these physical goals. As far as the number on the scale goes, I can't believe how much it's moving down. I think I'm going to reach the goal I wanted for the YEAR by the end of July.

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 22 - You SUCK!

This day did not turn out like I thought. I thought I would be screaming from the top of my lungs that I met my first weight loss goal for the year. I was going to make myself a little gold star with the number of pounds I lost and post it on the side over there by the ticker. I was going to get a new ticker with my new goal. I was going to find confetti and balloon pictures and post them... but NO this day did NOT go like that at all!

The STRESS started last night, when I grounded Anthony from watching TV because he didn't follow directions in school all week. No TV really means I'm grounded too! I had to make sure was having his bath so I could sneak and watch The Big Bang Theory. The -roommate- aka my current husband is usually good for nothing so he added to the stress of last night with delaying getting Anthony to bed. Hey I take care of the preemie baby with the monitor I think the roommate should be able to handle getting the 4 year old to bed, if not move out now!

I stayed up to work on birth announcements and they still aren't finished, but our Easter cards are done. I knew since Anthony went to bed late that means he sleeps late, and I would get to sleep late too. Good thing school is in the afternoon or we would have real problems. Alex woke up hungry at 7:30am I gave him a bottle and went back to sleep in Anthony's bed, which became my sleeping location since the boys share a room and I need to be near Alex in case of the alarm going off. Anthony sleeps in my king size bed next to the roommmate.

At 11am I jumped up, got Anthony something to eat, got his clothes ready woke him up. Put a bottle on fro Alex, got him up and dressed put him in the pack n play while I got dressed and ready. Had to encourage Anthony for 45 minutes to get dressed. He's working on doing it himself these days, so shirts go on backwards, shoes are on the wrong foot, but hey he's doing it!

Finally it's 12:40pm, time to wait for the bus and get Alex into the van so the minute Anthony is on the bus we are off to the doctors. By this time my someone from my cheering section (you know who you are and you're loved) will start posting or texting "good luck".  Today my "boyfriend" (the one that makes me smile), went as far as saying congratulations I know you made it. Heck I thought I made it. THAT STUPID SCALE OF MINE said I did it!

Got into Dr. Ransom's office with my usually nervous excited feeling, got on that super duper scale, closed my eyes and when I opened them, the number was THE EXACT SAME FROM LAST WEEK!!! What the hell! What about all my hard work? I worked out every day! I followed the meal plan!! I only ate out and had salad and peel and eat shrimp with my 3 lemon limit! CRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The print out was handed to me and it showed I went up in muscle mass and down in fat weight by the same amount so therefore the total weight was the same. Does that make me feel better? NO NO REALLY!!!!!!! I think the universe is just trying to test me. It knows this coming week is going to have a lot of ups and downs and FOOD all around. I'm going to have to navigate until after Easter like an obstacle course or that crazy spartan race Cheryl is going. I'm going to have to remember everything I learned about eating and put it to use and still get my work outs in. I still don't feel better grrrrrr

After my appointment was Alexander's check up and preemie shot. My little guy is in the 95% which is why everyone says he doesn't look like a preemie. He's measuring the size of a 7 month old, but trust me, he's a preemie, he can't support his upper body. He cried and cried when he got the shots.

Then I had just enough time to get home to meet Anthony off the bus. Once that kid is home I'm always jumping. "Mom can I have juice please?" "Mom can I have a snack" add Alexander's alarm going off and my head feels like it spins around.

At 4:30pm I took the boys and my mother to the A&P. What would have been about a 20 minute run if it was just me turned into an hour an half. EVERYONE in the A&P knows Anthony's name now. If you were shopping with us, I'm SORRY!!! He wouldn't listen, he wouldn't stay by the cart, he kept running up and down the aisle. I put him in the cart for a while then he hits and kicks. There is just no winning.

Before we left I bought my mega millions tickets. My mom said "Anthony if your mother wins she has big plans" to which I answered "if I win I'm leaving with the cloths on my back I can buy new clothes!" Finally got in the house carrying up the first set of bags at 6:10pm. I turned the oven on, started boiling water for the ravioli, then went down for the 2nd load. Four trips later, the mozzarella bread was cooking in the oven, the ravioli was boiling, the boys were upstairs and I was putting everything away.
By 6:30pm I sat Anthony down for dinner and thought about this crappy day 22 and if that stupid roommate asks me again "what I do all day" I am going to kick him in the @$$ with my new muscle mass I'm gaining! I thought about just calling it quits and saying the hell with it. But what I really really wanted to do was RUN. Well I can't possibly start running if I don't lose more weight, to lose more weight I have to stick to the diet and work out. CRAP CRAP CRAP, I have to go work out. And I think there would be a few of you coming to my house to kick my @$$ if I didn't.

I put my workout clothes on and went into the living room. The bratty child who wouldn't listen got his flag from his room and started waving it, yelling "Go mom go" How cute is that?! I did my workout with him coming in and out of the living room to watch me.
When I finished 30 minutes later, he told me he finished his dinner and even put his dish in the sink. WOW I guess I am doing something right.
I poured myself a glass of water with lemon then sat down to blog about 7:30pm at which point Alexander woke up and started crying, so another bottle for him. Anthony is grounded again tonight from the TV for not listening to me or Nonna in the A&P so he is moody. I am finally getting this done and it's almost 9pm

When the roommate comes home, I'm going to lay down. I don't know if I'll sleep all night or if it's just a nap, but I need to get away from everyone and where I want to go is too far away. So sleep will have to do. Who knows maybe I'll wake up and find out I won something with the mega millions.

Day 23 you better be better or so help me....
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 16 - Something's Happening

I noticed muscles and some definition starting in my arms. Can you see that little bump?... don't laugh at my little muscle either! One day SOON I'll be strong enough to knock your lights out for laughing :-P


Weekend are normally harder to work out because the family demands a lot from me. But my new attitude is GET THE H-E- DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS out of my way! This change I'm doing is a lifestyle, not just a diet and work out plan. I have to do this ALWAYS so the sooner everyone gets used to mommy working out the better off everyone will be.

My 4 year old is currently watching Star Wars - my favorite movie of all times And YES it's Star Wars... I went to the movies to see STAR WARS not A New Hope when I was a kid!...wait, where was I? oh yeah.... currently my 4 year old is in the living room on the big TV, little does he know I will be stopping the movie shortly to do my work out. May the force be with me, when I tell him.

Cheryl seemed to like my Rocky video yesterday. Running is a big goal of mine. I think it would be amazing to do that run. Here it is again Cheryl.


Today after my workout we need to go food shopping and tonight we will take Anthony to the Chinese Buffet where I will eat salad and peel n eat shrimp. Those baby shrimp are only 5 calories each. Of course I'll only have my 3 lemon limit ..(I told you before it's an inside joke)

Time to get started with that evil witch Jillian. Here I am before


After ... sweating like a - say it with me - PIG


I am not going to lie to you. This is HARD!! VERY HARD. My muscles are screaming, I feel tired after. And since I've been pushing myself every day I am not getting that burst of energy I was getting when I worked out only 3 times a week. I have to get past this point of my body being sore from all the different muscles being used and I bet that energy comes back.

I AM thinking a lot clearer! My mind isn't racing like it used to, it's sticking to one topic staying focused doing a task and moving on. PLUS I am getting to sleep at night.. well as long as Alexander's heart and lung monitor doesn't go off.

I need a break from Ms. Michaels tomorrow I'll be working out with Ms. Siebers. I have to keep mixing up the work outs so I work out different muscle groups and give the ones that are burning a break... there's that word again burn, BURN = SUNBURN = SUMMER = CONVENTION

Tomorrow's another day... see you right back here
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 12 is here!

 HEY YOU>>> YOU WHO BOOKMARKED THIS PAGE...BOOKMARK MY HOME PAGE INSTEAD

 

 

 

Twelve days in a row I have worked out. It's a wonderful feeling to have this new me showing up every day. Today I'm tired because I stayed up late working on my April Template Challenge for NDISB.com and going over the ideas for the ADSR7 which I'm all excited about. This is my all time favorite competition to scrap in.

My evil scale is back to it's old tricks, but it's up because I had a snack last night. I was so hungry since I was up so late. I had a fiber on bar around 2:30am so hopefully tomorrow it will be back where it was yesterday. Or I am going to take the scale and throw it out the window into the backyard for pissing me off! - see don't mess with me in the mornings when I'm tired and haven't had my coffee!! ((I can hear someone teasing me for how I say coffee! I'm a Jersey Girl Dammit!))

so here's super tired me blogging right now


I'm going to finish my coffee and work out because my little boy's Christening is in 82 days! My Challenge is over a few days before and then I'll start a NEW CHALLENGE because I'm lovin this new go get them attitude.

I keep thinking about when Cheryl posted she was running during her lunch hour. HOLY MOLY!! I want to run.. but if I do that now I'll have boobs flying and hitting me in the face...lol But that is one of my goals.Cheryl when I'm ready to train I'll let you know.

How awesome would it be? Maybe I could run from my house to the doctor's office for a weekly weight in. Wait......... how far is that?..........map quest here I come...........6 miles............. I wonder how long I would have to train to do that? I will find out one day when I don't have a big fat @$$.

Time to move my big fat @$$ and wait for another pair of jeans to fall off!


after - sweating like a ---- what? you should know by now if you are reading my blog.


Every time Jillian Micheals says "it should be burning" I think SUNBURN, then I think SUMMER, then I think about the next CONVENTION I'm planning to go to and I push harder to work out.

This afternoon I'm heading to AAA with my mom. She needs to pick up her Euros and I'm going to check on flights for my trip in July. I hate to fly but at least I know I'll fit in the seat!

Day 13... you're only a day a way!!!

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$