Day 75 - it's Wednesday? felt like Tuesday ;-)

Warning..high volume of photos today.

Waves to the lemon police ;-) that's why it feels like Tuesday....moving on

I'm not sure if it's the No More Trouble Zone's DVD or the fact that I didn't work out for 4 days, but I'm having trouble getting through to the end. When Alexander started crying 20 minutes into the work out, I was soooooooooooooooo glad! Work out called on the count of a crying baby yippee!



For only 20 minutes I am still sweating like a pig. This lady is killing me, but I am seeing results. I couldn't believe my eyes when I got out of the shower and was drying my hair.. my arms are getting defined!!! Look at my shoulder you can see it! You can see the muscles.



I got dressed when into my favorite t-shirt drawer and pulled out my Bon Jovi T-shirt that I never wore because I couldn't fit into! It's a little long, I wish I knew how to sew... that's on my bucket list, I really need to get on that and learn.



Anthony was already a brat on the bus, I should have known it was going to be a nightmare going out with him and the saboteur, but the coupon I had for Payless ended today and he really needed sneakers. So off we went.

I got myself a large iced coffee and off we went. As I snapped this photo, the man sitting on the bench, on the right side of my coffee picture, asked me why I took a picture of my coffee. I told him I blog every day. I wanted to say, because if I sent this picture to the roommate he would have NO idea what kind of coffee I have, but if I send it to the "boyfriend" he would know without a doubt!





As you can see Mr. Anthony was already his crazy self. He wanted to climb on the stop sign. As I took his picture I wish I had a sharpie with me so I could write above the word stop "Don't" and below it "Believing"



And here he is in Kohl's putting on a fashion show for me.



I tried on a few things. I did not get any of these dresses I didn't like how any of them looked and they were more money than the ones I have bought on zulily.com.



I was at Kohl's on a mission to find a handbag I saw on their site, but no luck, but I figured I'd just order it on line when I got home. So I started hunting for yellow stuff since that's the "IT" summer color this year and just happens to work well with my crazy lemon craze.

I like this shirt, size 1X, but dammit I am going to have to change this blog name to My Big Fat Stomach! I refuse to buy a 2x shirt because I am only going to lose more weight so at some point it will look better and until then I'll wear the spanks under it. Hey and the shorts size 16!!! go me ;-)



This is the other yellow shirt but this is a size 2X and it felt big everywhere.



I went out and got the 1X and it looks better don't you think? but ugh that stomach.. I need to work out harder.



Next onto yellow shoes...which sandal do like better? My purple toes have to go if I'm wearing these.



Anthony was so out of control by the time we were done, my face was red from holding him down. I even had to step on his harness when he got away from me in order to stop him from running out into the street.

When the roommate got home I put him in charge on Anthony, which is a joke. A lot more screaming and yelling took place until they both got to bed. And the headache that slowly started was still going strong after they both  went to sleep! Anthony needs to be in  a padded room sometimes.

I went on Facebook for a while and caught up with everyone's life. Cheryl posted a link about a girl who ran the spartan race. If you have time read her blog.

She really is inspiring, maybe I will be ready to race next June. I really liked the part of her story with her trainer putting the muddy hand print on her back and saying "I got your back". Which gave me an idea!!

I am going to get myself a few shirts and some fabric paint. I'm going to ask a few of my friends who have really been supportive of me to put their hand in the paint then on the back of my shirt.

So if you see me coming towards you with a dish, some paint, baby wipes to clean up and a shirt with a board in it, you'll know what's going on. Fair warning this is going to happen at the Christening!!!


I continued my "lemon shopping" on line.. and got the handbag I wanted ;-) Now the lemon police told me if I got anything with more than 3 lemons on it he would take a scissors and cut all but 3 lemons off... hope he doesn't do that to my new handbag.



I also found these!!!!!!!!!! prefect one lemon, can't get in trouble there. And I need new panties, mine are all to big.



I'm taking a big risk here.. I have a feeling there will be scissors involved..LMAO




That's it, that's my day. See you tomorrow.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 74 - Unhappyily Ever After

Seven years ago today we had our big stupid renewal of vows ceremony and reception spending $50k! Yes that's right, that's how much that F&^$en thing cost us and that's just my estimate because I never had the courage to add up all the bills.

I hated planning that day! When I cancelled it in '04 I should have just cancelled it and kicked his ass out! I should have known from his BS that he wanted a big wedding but when push came to shove he didn't have an opinion on anything! "Whatever you want" was what I heard a lot, which led me to the cancelling of the party in '04. I DIDN'T WANT IT! I didn't want that big wedding. I wanted a marriage!!!!!!!! Why oh why didn't I listen to my gut?   

For the past 4 years I have been hoping he would fight for us, fight for this marriage. But once again I am not important and invisible. I can't believe I married someone just like my mother! And I even told her that in yesterday's fight.

The roommate did call and wish me a happy anniversary.. UGH I said it back but could feel the tears forming so I got off the phone quick. I'm not happy and neither is he if he would be honest with himself. Something is very very wrong if we go months and months without being intimate!

I got Anthony on the bus and finally got to do a work out. Of course not working out for 4 days I couldn't handle getting all the way through the No More Trouble Zones!


I got myself dressed and ready to go to Costco when the stupid roommate got home. I called him 2 times to find out where he was.... he stopped off to talk to a guy at the other shop.

I would LOVE to just "stop off" some where to talk to someone and not have any care in the world to get home or check in. Finally he got in and Anthony and I went to pick up my Memorial Day cards.


I had most of the out of state envelopes ready and stamped. I put the cards in while in the parking lot of Costco then drove to the post office to mail them. Well Anthony mailed them :-)



I'll finish the rest tomorrow and get them in the mail.

This was a shitty Tuesday.. no lemon police either! And that just makes me more sad :(

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 71 - Twiggy's BBQ

Twiggy's BBQ was fun fun fun fun.
This is what I wore, I think I look cute with my new shorts, shirt and pig tales.



I got there early to see if I could help with any last minute things. And I took photos of my two boys for Memorial Day cards.


I sat with her work friends and we talked and talked and laughed!! Mr. Grey came up.. that book seems to be every where. Also talked about working out and that Bitch Jillian Michaels.  

The roommate was suppose to be there but he got called into work. Amazing that when we have nothing to do, he doesn't have to work on Saturdays *rolls eyes*

Anthony played in the dirt all day and ran around like crazy. I think he had more fun when the other kids left, because all the adults were paying attention to him.


When it started getting dark they set up a camp fire. Then the roommate and saboteur got there. After a nice day without them, I had to deal with the two of them.




And what took place next was making steam come out of my ears until I finally lost it!

My brother, who can do no wrong, wants my moms old picnic table. The saboteur had the audacity to ask the roommate to use his work truck to bring my brother the table. The roommate starts saying how he'll need to borrow a different truck from work, the saboteur starts saying how it can just be dropped off at any time, until I finally told them both that my brother is a big boy if he wants the table rent a truck and get it.

This is wrong on so many levels!
1. why does everyone always have to help my brother?
2. how many times do I have to tell the saboteur I AM GETTING DIVORCED! She should not be asking him for any favors!
3. why does the roommate jump to help everyone else?
4. I am always invisible  around here and my feelings don't matter

We got home after 11pm and it took me and hour to scrub up my dirty boy Tony!



I got to bed around 3am!!!

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 70 - weigh in day

Big major event last night. When Alexander's alarm went off I checked him, reset it and got the book to write it down when I saw it was days since the last alarm...5 days 20 hours and 35 minutes to be exact.


Of course after all my excitement it went off 3 more times last night and once today.

This morning everyone was tired Anthony did not want to go to school and Twiggy is his new best friend! I got everyone ready, put on my new Friday "weigh in clothes" well they aren't new, the newly fit! And off to school and the doctors we went.



My home scale finally showed me down this morning. I was hoping the doctors scale would also show the same thing. I was very happy with today's weigh in. That .5lbs we couldn't explain from last week showed up as a gain in muscle this week! Down 1 point in my BMI which always makes me happy! Down 1.5lbs in fat and .5 in water. As my loveable lemon police says "woot"

Alexander had his 6 month check up, a few shots and we made it home just in time for Anthony to get home from school. We turned around and went right back out with Twiggy to go shopping at Costco for her BBQ tomorrow and I needed stuff too. Look at how packed our van is! Plus we had 3 kids with us, her niece & my two boys.


By now it was 6pm and we needed to feed the kids and then planned to meet up again to go to the dollar store and pick up a few more things at the A&P.

I can see my house from Twiggy's house so I saw the roommate wasn't home. I called him and this is what happened:

He answered the phone yelling "I AM ON THE WAY HOME!!!"
I was so taken back by him but I asked "How far away are you?" thinking he could help with the heavy stuff and Anthony couldn't wait to see him.
He yells "I AM AT THE SHOP ALRIGHT?!"
to which I replied "well then you aren't on your way home are you?"
and he screamed even more "LET ME GO, LET ME GO, ALRIGHT?!" and hangs up on me.

WTF did I do to get spoken too like that??? This is why I ended up with him. Because this is what I KNOW... this is how my father, mother, other family and even the person I used to call my "best friend" spoke to me.

Anyone being NICE was too different and I didn't believe they meant it, because I was always screamed at like this over nothing.

I went around the corner to my house, and unloaded most of the van by myself, warmed up dinner for Anthony, got a bottle for Alexander and took several deep breathes to calm down.. and then... the roommate came home, opened the door and started SCREAMING AT ME AGAIN!!!

Apparently the call didn't connect fast enough for him and he claims he was saying "hello hello hello" before he yelled at me, because I was "nasty" and said "you aren't on your way home".

He doesn't even remember how the conversation happened and I guess if you say Hello 3 times to someone the next thing you should do is YELL AT THEM!!

I told him to 'back the truck up and leave me alone" and just then Anthony stands up and starts walking backwards and beeping "Beep Beep Beep, this is the way a truck backs up Mommy" Thank goodness for some comic relief! 

I did go back out with Twiggy and got back home about 10pm. I guess putting away the wipes and cat food was too much for the roommate because after all he was taking care of Alex while I was out with Anthony. *rolls eyes*

My big exciting "buys" of the day...two sundresses from my favorite site zulily.com size XL thank you very much!



A set of yoga DVDs which I really can't wait to try! I'll be trying that beginners DVD Sunday Morning.




And of course my lemons!  It's a very silly story why lemons became my obsession, but thank goodness they did!! My life at home is mostly filled with mean people who are nasty towards me every chance they get. Nothing makes me smile more than lemons and they taste great in my water which I drink all day long! Just wish I didn't have a 3 lemon limit...maybe the lemon police will raise the limit at least for the summer so I can make lemonade.


 
I'm heading to bed now and going to read some  more in 50 Shades Darker.
And Thank you Lemon Police... you know why, I sent you a list xoxoxo
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 54 - double workout yesterday

After my workout with that evil Ms Michaels yesterday, I went for a walk/run in these hills with Twiggy and my mom while pushing the stroller with Alexander running around Anthony so he wouldn't run on everyone's lawn.. it was useless...lol

That stroller has to be close to 40lbs, it's Alexander who's 18.5lbs, his monitor, the car seat and the stroller...my shoulders are KILLING ME!!!

I know you can't tell from the pictures but I was RUNNING up that hill, if you look my shoulders are all bunched up from pushing that thing.  I keep telling myself that next year this time I'm going to be looking for one of those jogging strollers on eBay because Anthony and I will really be running.  But in the mean time, my fat ass.. well in this case my fat shoulders are aching!!






Twiggy and I were talking about Fifty Shades of Gray on the walk/run and my mom said "Oh I heard about that I should read it huh?" We both screamed NO YOU SHOULDN'T ...lol I think my mother would freak with soooo many different things. First off she's a big "no sex until you get married" type person.. umm Mom do you try on shoes before you buy them? grrrr  Well maybe her views have changed a little over the years but overall she thinks sex should be with someone you love.. well hell if they can't do it right, I don't want to love them! ;-)

Then last night I stayed up to create a special facebook photo cover for The Lemon Police's birthday on Sunday. Went to bed about 1:30am and at 3am Alexander's monitor went off. That was it I couldn't get back to sleep. I tossed and turned for a few hours and then at 5am I started reading another few chapters of Fifty Shades of Gray.

I finally went back to bed about 6:30ish, waking again at 7:30 when Alex started fussing that he was hungry. Fed him, got him back down and took another nap from 8:30 until 10:30. Anthony was still sleeping at 11:30 when I pulled him out of bed and told him to get up.

The roommate is suppose to take care of Anthony and get him down every night, but it's always a problem. I'm dealing with Alex and have to stay up for his last feeding, I give Anthony his bath get things ready for school the next day and start saying "Get him in the bedroom" around 8:30pm. Anthony likes to watch a movie or show before bed so all he has to do is sit in there with his lap top next to his son.. but nooooooooooooooooo, that's too hard for him. He seems to have to do a bunch of things right when I say "get him into the bedroom"

If I go in with Anthony and watch the movie, I'll fall asleep and that worries me. Now the stupid roommate can fall asleep ANYWHERE at any time. I have pictures of him that he's falling asleep while giving Anthony a bottle while Anthony was in his rocker.  I could never let him stay up to be the one to take care of Anthony because I was always scared he would  fall asleep with him in his arms and crush him to death so I won't let him stay up with Alexander either. So he has to be the one who gets Anthony down.

He just doesn't get this whole parenting thing at all. Hell he doesn't get anything, other than work.

Today I went to Anthony's school with Alexander in the baby sling for Anthony's field day. It rained so it was in his class room. I was there for about an hour, took some pictures, did two errands, came home, changed into my work out clothes, fed Alex, got Anthony off the bus and playing with Nonna, while Alexander watched Baby Einsteins. Once he feel asleep I  had been sitting for about an hour and I could feel the aching in my shoulder and how tired I really am.

The stupid roommate just came home so I decided yesterday double work out counts for today and I'm taking a nap!!

I'm pretty sure this week is the week I won't lose much. It seems to happen once a month and it was on March 30 last time. My home scale hasn't moved at all this week and not for a lack of working out or drinking my water. So I'm not stressing over it, nor am I going to kill myself either. The weight is coming off, I'm doing everything correctly and getting enough sleep is also very important... so NAP TIME

zzzzZZZzzzz
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 52 -This one is JUST right

I stayed up much later than I wanted to reading 50 Shades of Gray. When Anthony came bouncing out of bed like he does very morning, I was really kicking myself in my big fat ass for staying up so late. I will not make the same mistake tonight, plus I'm in no mood for Mr. Grey. In fact he would hate me tonight because I'm breaking a rule and doing it on purpose! so take that Mr. Grey

I had a nice morning with my boys and when Anthony got on the bus I came in to face the evil Ms. Michaels! I've been doing the 30 Day Shred for some time now, so I thought it was to go back to No More Trouble Zones.

I was right! My shoulders, back and legs hurt...but that good hurt from working out. I will be sticking with this DVD and doing those dreaded Surrender Exercise. I was doing pretty well with the work out, was almost done, but the phone was ringing and it was the doctor's office, they needed to reschedule my Friday appointment. Then Alex started his little fussing that he does when he's hungry, so 30 minutes was all I got in of the 40 minute work out.

When Anthony came home from school we went right to his dentist appointment. He had his check up and teeth cleaned. Then Nonna treated him to his favorite pizza, eggplant parm pizza. Anthony stayed downstairs by her, Alex up by me, then the roommate came home and I just needed to get out of the house and be alone. So I decided I would return the bigger dresses, but not before trying them all on again one last time.

If you missed any of the Quest for the Dress posts, the story begins with my post from March 11. Then continues on March 21 and a very happy me on April 4th.
Here I am today in the size 22 that I bought first. This one is too too big

This is me in the 20 - This one is too big

And the size 18 is JUST right - well almost just right and I still have a whole month to work on my belly!
If you ask me I think you can tell by my face I needed some down time. 

I got to Lane Bryant to return the dresses and the woman asked "Why are you returning them?" even though I was moody I was happy to answer "They are too big"

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$