Day 84 - Karma just hit you in the pinky toe

My fat ass some how lost 3 more pounds this week, maybe in my pinky toe. I don't know how and I feel undeserving. I only got in one hour of working out. I've been stressed, upset and crying for days...over all just a big mess, even my hair hurts.

I talked to my doctor about how I have been feeling and guess what I have to do? Test my blood sugar because he thinks it might be dropping!

That's new, dropping is not the issue I used to have. So I'll get my tester out and get it ready for when I feel wacky. I need something to blame for my moodiness and low blood sugar sounds GREAT! Otherwise I have to blame someone else but karma just smacked them in the pinky toe for me and I grinned!

I hate this t-shirt, I should have worn one of my new shirts. I guess I should just pack up that bottom draw of shirts and get rid of them.  I wore my shorts to the doctors today and then to do my errands. I haven't worn shorts out of the house in years! No decades!! The last time I wore shorts out of the house was when I lived in Clifton.


I can hear the voices in my head telling me "you can't go out like that", "you can't wear shorts", "you can't have your arms out", "you can't have your legs out", "YOU LOOK HORRIBLE" those voices are followed by "You'll be pretty if you only lose weight" I wish I could just shut them up but I don't think they will ever go away.

When the roommate gets home we are going out to Target with the kids. I need to get formula for Alexander and Anthony wants to "shop" I really would like a new mirror for the back of the bedroom door too but then you'd see the hoarder's mess more!

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Day 67 - The lemon lives!

Yippie for Tuesday :-)

Another morning up early but this time both boys were up too! I fed them and got them settled before I could get my work out in.

This No More Trouble Zones is super hard!! Every part of my body is hurting, so I know I'm doing it right. I did 2 sets of 30 jumping jacks today! My scale isn't moving again and honestly I really don't care...2 SETS OF 30 JUMPING JACKS!!! that's what I care about. I am impressing myself as I build my stamina.




Here's my little fan watching mommy


Remember that "Little Black Dress" I bought for my cousin's wedding on Thursday? Well I went to Lane Bryant's site because I was going to pin the picture on Pinterst. I am getting so addicted to that site, even if I am having a bad day, I can look at pretty pictures.

I found my little black dress on Lanebryant.com but I did not like how the model looked in my Little Black Dress, so I wouldn't pin it. What do you think?



I showed the model to that sweet sweet boyfriend of  mine and he said I looked better in it and "your smaller than her too" wwwwoooo hoooooo that made me feel really good. I am shorter than she is and have bigger boobs to fill it out better ;-)  I didn't pin it maybe I'll pin myself when I'm dressed for the wedding.



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Day 63, 64, 65 and 66

Well... Day 63 - Friday May 11, 2012 hit me hard. I found out that my brother made plans with my mother for mother's day. Nobody told me, nobody included me and it made me feel so left out.

I knew the roommate had nothing planned. I didn't care, I just didn't want to cook for  him. I never asked my mother to do anything, well, because I'm tired of being the one who always makes the plans. But when nobody else stepped up on Friday I asked my brother if he would like to do something just the 3 of us, I found out he made plans with her and his friend and his friend's mother. I just sat with my mouth open wondering what is wrong with me that nobody ever thinks of me?

I still feel like the kid nobody ever cared about. I cried and cried and cried after I found out I wasn't even a thought in anyone's head and worse of all, yet again my mother didn't have the decency to just tell me she made plans with my brother. It's the SHOCK of finding out that kills me.

Just like neither of them could be bothered telling me they were going away for Christmas. My mouth dropped open when my Aunt told me early in December. The B!tch didn't say a WORD to me until she was walking  out the door on Christmas Eve morning.

And another kicker that has me crying, the minute I said I didn't know if I could go to Disney she called my brother to make plans with him. They will be gone for Halloween and my son's 1st birthday!! What pisses me off with this, is when she goes with us she doesn't offer to pay for anything. When she goes with my brother she pays for the whole trip! WTF?!

Thanks to my "boyfriend" I was able to stop crying pull myself together, get Anthony on the bus and get to my doctor's for my weekly weigh in. And just like I thought the scale didn't move. I didn't feel my "new and improved DID" self much last week so I guess the work outs weren't hard enough. It's not like I ate cake all week.

I got home and made plans with Twiggy to go walking/running. It is hard as hell to run up these hills pushing a stroller, but every UP hill I run!




And Anthony is running too


After we got home, I showered and went shopping with Twiggy for her house warming party next Saturday.
Got home late, stayed up to read some more about Mr. Grey then went to bed.



Day 64 - I spent the whole day cleaning this pig pen! And it's still not spotless. I can't stand all the clutter so every day I'm picking something and cleaning it out. The roommate keeps so much crap it's just so overwhelming to clean everything up at once. And just picking up the normal stuff around here is a lot of work. I feel like we live in a shoe box.

The boy's room is so small that Anthony can't play in there because there is no room. So all the toys end up all around the house. It hit me while cleaning to SWITCH ROOMS with them.  Now I'm on a mission... and when I have a mission WATCH OUT!

By switching rooms, the roommate can't have all this crap because he won't have the room. He'll have to remove it or I'll throw it out.  And since I'm planning on getting rid of him, let him help me now move the rooms around so I don't have to do it later.

Anthony spent the day playing with my mom and she even took him to church!! Then after church Anthony wanted to go out to eat so we all went to the Chinese Buffet.

I drank water and ate peal and eat shrimp and crab legs. And of course I stuck to my 3 lemon limit



Could you please past the salt? hehehe

Came home, read some more went to bed really really late! I finished chapter 8.




Day 65 -  well you know how this is going to play out...
I slept late at least. I didn't feel like working out, I didn't feel like doing anything. I had my coffee and shake for breakfast



and I wrapped my nails all day long while taking care of Alexander while the roommate played with Anthony outside.





I broke down and started sobbing again around 6:45pm. I couldn't stop. I got up 5 times to wash my face by the tears just kept coming down. I got to spend the day and watch all the shows I recorded and wrap my nails, but I just couldn't stop feeling so bad that I was left out.

The roommate got Anthony to sleep. I had to deal with fussy Alexander who's teething, so I didn't get to bed until 2:30am.



Day 66 - I feel so much better today!! Thanks to "boyfriend" who once again cheers me up, puts a grin on my face that I can't remove and always surprises me.

I got up early, had my wake up coffee and got my work out done! (you can see my eyes are still not right from crying)




I'm very happy to say I did the whole 40 minutes of Jillian Michaels no more trouble zones! She's KILLING ME!!!!!! But I like it.

Because I got my work out in early, I did a lot today, cleaned the side of the TV and threw some of the roommate's junk out, cleaned the kitchen counter off, put all the dishes away, the bottles away, folded clothes, put them away, made dinner (well I do that every night) and even had time to play with my favorite person. I did more but I threw my list out already and I'm making my to do list for tomorrow.

I am going to try to get my work out in every morning before sleeping beauty wakes  up. Once that kid is up, he's a lot to handle.

Tomorrow is my FAVORITE day of the week and I'm hoping I don't have to kill any lemons


Now you know where I was all weekend.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 58 missing too?

No I swear I'm not skipping days on purpose, it's just crazy around here sometimes. If I don't get my workout in first thing, it seems almost impossible to get it in at night, and weekends are a nightmare in this place!!

Yesterday I wanted to get to Home Depot in Totowa, although it isn't the Home Depot I wish I could have walked into yesterday but it's the one near me... so off I went in my new "skinny jeans"size 18 and white t-shirt, piggy tails and flip flops.




My mission.. get flower pots, soil and seeds to grown flowers for Alexander's Christening Favors and Centerpieces, which is a whole lot cheaper than anything else I came up with!!  So I made a list of what we needed and off we went.


You know that roommate I'm always bitching about? He is good for NOTHING!!! He has zero patience with Anthony, doesn't know how to control his temper and makes EVERYTHING into an issue. I swear Anthony's problem is not the ADHD it's the roommate!!

We weren't in the garden area more than 5 minutes when the roommate started getting nasty with my boy! I on the other hand redirected my older son's hyperactivity and had him count out 43 little flower pots, while holding onto the stroller at the same time and watching Alexander. We counted 5 at a time and stacked them in the cart.  The roommate... good for nothing, was just standing there with a puss on his face. Sure no problem I'll take care of both boys, that's why I have a super mom cape and you're just a shit head! I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!

The minute that task was over, Anthony started pushing buttons again. I watch my son have this twinkle in his eye that only someone who used to do everything possible to get their father's attention would recognize. Sure enough, that twinkle was directed at the roommate and BOOM Anthony was off running around the garden center of Home Depot with the roommate screaming his name.

 When I finally saw Anthony with the roommate again I told the roommate to take him back to the van. I honestly can stand how quick and ill tempered the roommate is, it's him I wanted back in the van!!! The roommate stands there saying a few times "yaaaaa knnnnnoooooooowwwwwwwww" with his eyes looking every place but at you... No I don't know you F#@&en @$$hole! Shut the F$#@ up and handle your son without screaming at him, hitting him or swearing at him!!!

People don't see this side of the roommate. almost everyone thinks he's a quiet nice guy and think he's great with Anthony...THAT'S A SHOW PEOPLE!!! the real roommate has hit, slapped and punched my little boy. I have tried everything in my power to get him to control himself, but I can't make him change. Just like nobody could make me diet and work out.

I finished getting the soil and seeds myself and checked out. The roommate has Anthony on the harness and is walking around some where. I call him, he says he's coming, 10 minutes later I decide I don't need him and push the cart to the van while pulling the stroller with Alex!



When we got home more problems!!! The roommate is such an ass that he was fighting with Anthony in the backyard over planting, because the 4 year old wanted to be a 4 year old and ride his bike after planting 10 pots! The roommate continued being stupid and instead of using up a package of seeds he kept opening more and leaving half the seeds in the package. Then some how it's my fault because I am not outside telling him what to do!

This fighting went on for about an hour!
"Just plant the seeds, use them up"
 "if you don't like it then tell me what to do"
 "USE UP ALL THE SEEDS IN EACH PACKAGE"
"well you bought so many seeds I thought you wanted to mix them up"
"I didn't know how many we would need, just open a package, use them as far as they will go and then open the next one"
"well which ones do you want in the big pots"
"I don't care just plant anything"
"Which seeds?"
"I don't care just grab the one next to you and use that one"
"If you don't like what I'm doing then tell me what to do"

I swear it went on and on like this!!And in the meantime what I didn't know was he was also fighting with Anthony outside until finally my mother took Anthony into her house.

Out of all of this drama yesterday, the ONLY good thing was I got to talk to the Lemon Police for a while and read more of 50 shades of grey.  I only have a few pages to finish and should be done tonight.

So that was yesterday and that's why I didn't get a work out in... now today.. I'm not done with yet :-) Time for my walk/run and I'll be back to blog about today.





Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

What happened to Day 56?

No I didn't invent time travel in a DeLorean and skip over yesterday to arrive to today. I just got involved with other things and never stopped to work out. I even forgot to come here and post about my weight in. It wasn't until I woke up this morning (yawn I need a nap) that I remembered I'm a really big slacker!

It was a really shitty week for me! Emotionally I was all over the place, ask the Lemon Police he'll tell you I was a NUT JOB this week. Heck I even had another break down yesterday afternoon that he doesn't know about (well now he will) and another one late last night.

My face broke out this week, my back hurt, I was achy, tired, bloated.. full blown period week but without the period! First time since my hysterectomy that I got all the symptoms. I even had PMS this before hand which was another major melt down on my poor Lemon Police that I love so much! I would have locked my ass up I was flipping out so bad.

Prior to this month I had a few mood swings and one week a month I wouldn't have any change in my weight, so we were guessing that's what was going on. But this week totally shocked me and took me by surprise. Heck I'm still haven't a little melt down, but I'm not sure if that's jealously or my mood. So I was totally fine when the doctors office called to tell me Dr. Ransom wouldn't be in this Friday and they needed to change my appointment. I was just going there yesterday to pick up food.

Dr. Ransom gave them the okay to weigh me in anyway. I wasn't expecting that scale to move AT ALL!! hell no, not with the Major Melt Down Bitch that I have been....wow was I shocked to see that scale had moved down another 2.5lbs  I felt undeserving because I didn't work as hard as I normally do and hell I needed a damn smack on my ass for all the crying I was doing too!

I came home moved my ticker down and changed the goal to 20lbs and that's all I did with my blog. I was too excited about the new things that came in the mail.

First my little man Alexander got his first Star Wars onesie for Star Wars Day yesterday.


I knew we had to redo our Star Wars pictures when Anthony came home from school, when all of the sudden it hit me, I was wearing the wrong shirt!! Here I am with the Darth Vader shirt I started the day out wearing.



I ran in my room and pulled open that bottom drawer of t-shirts



and there it was...My episode I The Phantom Menace t-shirt that I bought and wore on opening night. I stood on line for the midnight show knowing that hundreds of miles away the person I would have given anything to be going to see this movie with was also on line waiting to see it, according to his email.

I heard myself gulp as I removed my Darth Vader shirt and put my arms in my Phantom Menace shirt...please let it fit, please let it fit.... I think my smile says it all!!



I opened the rest of the bags that came and tried things on...what do you think? these are for the summer and I really seem to push myself when I have to get into something, so by mid summer when I run away I think these will look fine. the purple one I would wear on a long drive to be comfy or maybe a cover up when I go swimming but the black one I really like to go out in.






When Anthony came home we did another Star Wars photo shoot



The rest of the day I worked on stuff for the ADSR which starts tomorrow. I stayed up late to give the Lemon Police his digi birthday present for his FB page, had another melt down around 1am and was fast asleep moments after my head hit the pillow.


And with all that I did NOT workout yesterday.. SLACKER!!

 Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 48 - 6 weeks to go

I have 6 more weeks to go until my personal 90 day challenge is over. Since I started on March 9th I have pushed myself to work out more, be extra careful if I eat out, started doing exercise moves I never thought I'd be able to do like surrenders and plank push ups and I went down two sizes! And today I noticed when I look down my stomach doesn't stick out further than my boobs.

I am totally amazed at this woman I am becoming.

I forgot to take my before picture again!!! I was trying to make sure I got my work out in before Tornado Tony came home from school.


Overall it's been a quiet afternoon with Tony hanging out with Nonna, you know her as The Saboteur.  The Roommate is on his way home, I already made him dinner so maybe he'll just leave me alone all night! I have to put together my challenge for The Amazing Digital Scrap Race, which starts on Boyfriend's birthday.

Oh they are playing a game over in the forums at the Amazing Digital Scrap Race where you have to come up with a new meaning for ADSR.
imagine you have no idea what does it means and you have only the first word :
Amazing
D.....
S.....
R.....

here are my two answers
Amazing
Discipline
Sees
Results 

Amazing
Disconnected
Soulmates
Reconnect 


Hope you have a good evening and I will see you back here tomorrow after my weigh in!
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 47 - Art Show

 I can't stop smiling from this wonderful day.  I knew I had to get my work out in before I left to help at my son's school. This morning I had to get a file over to Twiggy and then I was making plans for the tournament I'm going to in July, I was so busy I forgot to take my before picture.

It took me longer than I thought to get myself ready and pack everything I needed for the day, but when I was finally dressed and ready to walk out of the house I FELT GREAT IN MY NEW CLOTHES. When I walked into the school gym, Anthony's aid said she hadn't seen me in a long time and I looked great. I really love that people are noticing, it really makes me want to work harder. I felt so good, that I swear I even felt taller. I walked around help set up and did whatever they asked me to do.


When the saboteur got there with my Aunt and Uncle she would make this pissy face every time someone said they could see how much weight I lost.

When my friend Denise's sister and parents got there, the saboteur actually walked away with her pissy face. I had such a GRIN because I knew it was eating at her. She just loves to tell me how fat I am but she can't really do that with everyone else saying they can see the change.

Boyfriend told me to ask to borrow her clothes and then give them back and say they are too big. I think what happen tonight was better! But I will sneak into her room and put on a pair of her jeans to check to see if they are too big. Then I'll be doing the happy dance :-)

You might be wondering why it's such a big deal about her. In 2009 I found this doctor I asked her for MONTHS to watch Anthony for me to go and see what it was about. She was too busy, or she forgot, or she had things to do. Meanwhile she was losing weight and looking good and every time she had on something new I told her she looked good. Her replies were always something nasty like "I'm starving myself" or "I go to be hungry" crap like that. She was saying this to other people too. I don't know why it's so hard to say "Thank you, I'm working hard"

One day I was out of milk so I went into her apartment to borrow some. In her refrigerator was all these bottles of shakes. I took one out, looked at it and read that it was from The Center for Medical Weight Loss. I went back upstairs and cried and cried. I couldn't believe she was that much of a B!TCH to actually go to the doctor I had been trying to get too. And this is not the first time she did this to me with a diet.

She SCREAMED at me in 6th grade when I was 100lbs and had started developing in 2nd grade and hit puberty by 4th! By 6th grade when all my friends were just starting to get boobs, I was done growing and a kid in a woman's body with a C cup. I was NOT FAT! I know that now, but I didn't know it then. She put me on a diet making me eat things I still hate. She swore she would do the diet with me.

One day she forgot to pack the dressing for my salad in my lunch, because she was a teacher in the school I was in, I went to the teachers room to ask her for some of her dressing. I hoped the door to the teachers room, looked for her and saw her sitting there having Chinese food and not the gross salad she packed for me. I looked at her, started to cry and walked out. She didn't come after me, she didn't talk to me that night and that was the end of that diet. I had a sandwich the next day.

There is something wrong with this woman. This is not how you should act with your children. There's nothing I wouldn't do to help my children, especially when it comes to their health. All of you who know all the details of my two boys know that's true. I need to be healthy enough to raise them, I need to be a good roll model. The have to learn good habits from me! 

Back to the Art Show...I am going to have to give in and say boyfriend is right, people are sensing my confidence because several people (mostly guys) were asking about the frames and how much.  One guy was talking to me so long that his wife came over and gave him a dirty look. I thought it was funny! I was pushing around a baby in a stroller after all.

We took a few pictures of my little artist. Here he is holding up his Andy Warhol inspired sponge painting of his name and a few favorite letters.

And this is my favorite of me and my little artist. He even has a Wubbzy Artist eye patch on.

 I posted this on facebook tonight to brag about my little masterpiece. I was NOT expecting the comments that followed:

Cousin Chris posts: Look how skinny his mom is getting!!!! I saw you 3 - 4 weeks ago, and you've definitely lost visibly since then!
Cheryl said: MAria: you look aawesome!!!!
Cousin Arlena said: You really look great in this pix! Great job!
Cara said: Oh my heck, girlie.... you look fantastic!
Jenn said: you are the incredible shrinking woman....just amazing!
Kelly M. said: you look amazing, keep up the good work!!!

And the grin from their comments and likes has been on my face for HOURS!! Even when the roommate started fighting with me, I started fighting back, but then stopped myself and said "You are NOT worth it" because he couldn't find WIPES when the whole case was on the floor next to him!


And the last BIG thing of today, The Center for Medical Weight Loss asked me "Do you mind if we post your pic to give everyone a bit of encouragement?" and "Would also love to have you on our main site as a Success Story!"
 I told them I'm not a success yet!!! I'm a "getting there" story

See you tomorrow after I do my work out!!! And again I can't wait to do it. I am going to add in a little of the ab dvd too, then I'll really be sweating like a pig.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 46 - I have NOTHING to wear!

I did my work out shortly after Anthony went to school. I pushed harder and was able to do 4 push ups in plank position. I remember when I couldn't even hold myself up in plank and that was just in January. Tomorrow I will try for 5, but I know it will take a few days to get it. I like these physical fitness goals I give myself, it makes my journey about being healthy and fit not just a number on the scale.

Here I am at my computer getting ready to work out and here I am with my cheering section that fell asleep while watching me work out.
As I was getting dressed to go get a hair cut I really am having problems finding things to wear that fit me correctly. My jeans are all too big. The pair I'm wearing right now are so loose, I can pull them up to my bra!  They are baggy around the knees, they just look horrible. Which is FREAKING me out because tomorrow I am volunteering at my son's school and the last thing I want to look like is a slob. So I think after I get my hair cut I'm going to go to the Avenue and see if I can find a better pair of jeans. I just can't wait to go shopping on May 12 with Jenn, just no way!
Can you tell my jeans are big in this picture???
Jackie at Moda Salon did my color, cut and blow out in less and 2 hours. I love my hair. The roommate was home by then so I dropped Alex off to him to go on my mission to find jeans. Off to the Avenue where I brought 6 pairs of jeans into the dressing room to try on.
None of those jeans worked so off to Lane Bryant I went. The woman working there all helped me find straight leg petite jeans, in the dressing room and was thrilled to get my big fat ass into those 18!! They are just a little snug around the hips but no way was I buying a 20! These 18s will last me all summer until the autumn when I will go shopping for a smaller size GRIN!!
I was so happy I looked for a new shirt, the lady handed me a 14/16!! She's crazy I took the 18/20 in the dressing room. Here I am in the 18 jeans and 18/20 shirt.

I walked out of the dressing room and now two woman are telling me the shirt is too big and tell me to try on the 14/16 All I see is my big fat belly, so now they give me a pair of spanks and send me back in. This time I try on the purple shirt.

Yeah it looks better but I still see my big fat belly. I need to do more crunches, reverse crunches and bicycle crunches. I might have to try that Jillian Michaels 6 week 6 pack again. It was so hard for me I couldn't do most of the moves, so I will add it to the 30 shred and do what I can.

I started talking with the sales lady about how long she's worked there and I said I've been shopping here for almost 20 years. She said she didn't remember seeing me before. Then since I was THE QUEEN OF THE NILE over what size shirt, she asked me about my diet. I really need to start carrying a before picture with me, so I took out my drivers license to show her. 

She looked at the picture then looked up at me and said "I know the woman in that photo but I don't know you" WOW!! And that pretty much is how I feel. I don't know this new kick ass me who's working out and has fitness goals BUT I LIKE HER!!!   

Next I try on the red shirt because I wasn't sure which color I liked
SOLD! love the red one. Even my smile was bigger. There was one last shirt I like so I tried that on too. Still a little tight but I took it. I like having GOAL CLOTHES it makes me work harder. 


Speaking of "goal clothes" this is the Quest For The Dress. I'm aiming for this to be my 'mid summer's night dream' goal dress :-) I would love to wear it when I go away mid July.

One last thing I tried on tonight.. which was really the first thing I tried on, when I went to Costco to pick up a photo card order I designed for Twiggy.

Eli who works in the photo center was busy helping a crazy lady so I waited for him to be finish and checked out the jewelry. I love love LOVE this ring, the shape of the stone, the color of the stone, which is for November which is a very special month to me and I like the diamonds around it and on the band.
The ring ALMOST fit my finger, so I asked what size it was...a SEVEN!  My Wedding band is a 9 1/2. I stopped wearing it when I started calling him The Roommate so I had no idea my rings wouldn't fit me either. I think the only ring I have in a 7 is my high school class ring.

I guess when I said the only thing that fits me is my shoes, I wasn't lying, and that's because Jenn and I just bought shoes 2 weeks ago.

I can't wait to work out tomorrow morning... OMG did I just type that?? I can't wait to WORK OUT???!!!! 

See you tomorrow after the Art Show.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 44 - my "other" birthday

Ignore the title it's not for you. :-)

Like I said yesterday I got up and worked out, well after I had a cup of coffee first. I started listening to music  during my work outs instead of hearing that Evil Bitch Talk during the 30 day shred. I am doing much better pushing myself too. In fact today I did 4 push ups. Holy Moly those are hard! But I know the more I keep pushing the more I will do.
Before





I sweat so much I should be a tester for deodorants! I could also be a tester for sports bras!!!

I showered and started to get dressed. I am really having a hard time with clothes, nothing fits correctly besides my shoes. I can't wait to go shopping with Jenn on May 12! I posted this picture and my cousin Michele said "Yep...clothes are too big!"




Well I have to deal for a little while. I am making my shopping list: a dress for my cousin's wedding, pair of jeans, pair of shorts, sports bra, 3 shirts, that has to get me through the summer. Then I am hoping by September I need to get even smaller clothes, well maybe October :-)

Off to Harmon, Babies R Us and the A&P I went. Something keeps happening when I go food shopping... I am getting checked out! WTF?? I am no where near a healthy weight but yet every time I am out some guy checks me out. The first couple times I ignored it, but a few guys have stopped to talk to me and when they do they all look at my ring finger to see if I am married. I'm flattered but don't get it! I certainly didn't get checked out when the scale was the same number and going up.

I set a text to boyfriend, the one who makes me smile, not the one who will hide the body. He said "You feel good about you... guys sense that" It's still hard to believe that's all it takes to be noticed by a guy.  How come I didn't get the memo on this years ago? lol


I got home and waited for my mom to come home from her vacation. My brother came over and he told her about our cousin's passing. It went just like I thought, she was in and out of shock and crying. We took her over to see my aunt and cousin after we told her and stayed there for two hours. I got her home poured her a glass of wine and talked for another 2 hours. She's going to be upset for a while but she'll be okay.

Now before we told her, this happened...and I swear I would have just went back to my apartment if we didn't have to tell her anything.

My brother looked different, new glasses? new hair cut? so I said you look good, you look different are those new glasses? (he usually wears contacts that's what it was) He said no, then my mom jumps in with "he's tall and thin and his hair is dark"  My brother says "look at Maria she's thin" to which she replies with "she'll get there" AND THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS WHY SHE'S KNOWN AS THE SABOTEUR

 Here are the numbers depending on where you want to count down from:

• From when I first started the diet in 2010 to today I am down 44.5lbs
• I was at my heaviest when I gave birth to both my boys reaching the same number on the scale. So from this past Nov 3 when I gave birth to Alexander to today I am down 71.5lbs!
• From the weigh in when I started the diet again after I had Alex (which is what I am counting) I am down 34lbs

And tonight was the saboteur's first comment in months. Last time she said anything it was "I can't tell" sometime in February when I was down about 20lbs. I wonder if I give her a few bags of potatoes to carry if she'll notice 34lbs? She can go suck a lemon but it better not be one of my 3 lemon limit!

Time for bed, then up to do my work out :-)
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$