Hell yeah I'm back!!!

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My mind is going a mile a minute right now. I feel GREAT but so so so sore. I'm back, hell yeah I'm back, I'm back, I'm back. It's the take no prisoners DID that I want to be...well maybe I'm just improving on one of my DID names. Whatever I'm doing, I knew there was no way I was missing a work out today.

I spent the day with my newly Wireless boy and my Patches boy at Field Station: Dinosaurs and had a great day.


Then SURPRISE....... the roommate turned into a "husband" for the first time in such a long time I should have him checked for entry points for where the alien entered him... He called that he was in the area and lets meet for dinner at IHop. HOLY MOLY!

I was so happy to see the calories listed on the menu!! I ordered the Veggie Omelette

Dinner took a while and for less than a minute I thought "I was active enough today don't need to work out" And THEN the host who's been working there forever said to me "You've lost weight" I smiled and said yes and knew I would come home and push myself to do that evil Jillian Micheals 30 day Shred.

Not only did I do the work out, I did level 2 and did the whole thing! I LOVE that my abs are so sore!! My arms hurt, my legs hurt and my butt hurts. I feel GREAT!!!!

Before


Sweating like a pig

Tomorrow I weigh in with my doctor. I haven't been there in a few weeks. I also haven't been 100% either, so I don't know if the scale will move at all. It's gone up and it's gone down the last few weeks. But I'm happy and really feel that fire to push myself past that number that has been scaring me.

Challenge Accepted

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My girl Cheryl  has been struggling with staying on plan and eating healthy. So have I and it shows. I have been able to lose up to 10lbs a month, but so far this summer, I've lost 7lbs! Yeah I know some of you would say that's great BUT YOU'RE WRONG.

I totally felt the slipping going on in my head and little by little my work outs were less. NO I cannot let this happen. So while I was sitting in the airport yesterday waiting for my flight and texting Cheryl. I could "hear" the anxiety in her texts. She wants to fit into her wedding dress on Jan 5, 2013. And I want a NEW dress for her wedding so I told her "Challenge Accepted"

Then today my new 20 dollar winter coat came from Zulily.com which I knew wouldn't fit me yet so that's another challenge.

new coat


I am about to get the boys ready and go out for a walk/run so I'll finish blogging later.


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Here I am coming home from my late night walk/run with Twiggy.

We did 2.73 miles up and down these hills. I am so sore. Tomorrow Twiggy can't walk with me so I will either walk earlier or do a Jillian Micheals DVD.

I drank my walk ate correctly and worked out....so in other words it was a GREAT DAY!

My walking buddy

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I must say I'm shocked by the scale today. I totally didn't expect to even see it go down. When I get upset I shove food in my mouth. And I've been upset a lot lately. Even tonight... right now the roommate is fighting with Anthony.

The roommate left the door open, I closed it and asked him why he didn't close the door. In a typical child like manner he said "Anthony was the one who was behind me" Really? blaming the child for not closing the door? It's this every day stuff that has just gotten to me over the years!

Anyway I was super pleased with myself today at the weigh in despite my need to eat food when I'm mad. I'm 7.5 pounds away from my next goal.. and I'm going to push hard for these 7.5lbs and that means focus, determination and blogging every day!

If you don't see a new post by me in the morning then YELL AT ME!! Got that Cheryl? 

I went to the eye doctor today for the first time in about 20 years. Alexander was with me all day while Anthony stayed home with the saboteur.  He was so good all day with me.
I didn't know they were going to dilate my eyes. I drove home very slowly and couldn't move around because I couldn't see! I don't know how Anthony deals with his eye problems!! He had to help me walk into the kitchen to get him a drink.

I called the roommate and put it in terms he understood. GET YOUR ASS HOME I CAN'T SEE. To my surprise that worked, he got home about 5:40pm and I slept off the dizzy feeling I had from seeing blurry.

At 8pm I woke up, changed my clothes and out the door I went for a walk with Twiggy. I am so happy she lives around the corner! It's so much better to walk with someone else.

The moon was AWESOME tonight! My cell phone didn't get a good photo but it was great. I hope you got to see it if you were out tonight.

I am feeling good, strong and determined... I haven't felt this good in a few months. I want to meet this next goal before the end of the month!

Days 85 & 86 another weekend

Another crazy weekend!

Saturday June 2, 2012 - Day 85

I am still trying to get done things for the Christening. Table seating is a little crazy but I'll get it done. I have a list and need to stick with my list.

The stupid ass roommate got locked out of the van on Saturday. Instead of calling the cops he called to scream at me, like it was my fault. He told me to call OnStar but I didn't think they could help because we have the rear view mirror type, but I called and was very happy to learn they could send road side assistance. Within 20 minutes someone was there to unlock the van door. When the stupid roommate got home he went right back out again to the Dodge dealer to get us spare keys.

I also did a little shopping and got myself a lemon backpack! I love it. I also found big lemon and lime bags. I got a few of those and one I'll use to carry my shakes to and from the doctors from now on.

The other great thing that happen was I bought workout shorts and pants IN THE NORMAL SIZE SECTION OF THE STORE. I was not in the "woman's" or "plus size" I saw the work out area and thought "let me just take a look". When I saw the pants and shorts I didn't say to myself "they will never fit me" I decided to try them on because I thought they would and they DID! HOLY SHIT!!

I am so excited about the pants, much better than the big leggings that have been falling off of me while taking the walk/runs with Twiggy. And I was thrilled with the new black shorts. The two I have that I wear all the time are so big, that if I wear them when I work out, before I get to the end of my 30 jumping jacks they fall right off!

Later in the day I had the roommate get a few things down for me that I couldn't reach and I made him move some stuff in our room because I wanted to get to my secret hiding place *grin* I was on a hunt for the ring we gave my grandmother with all our birthstones. I found it and super excited that it fit. I also found my high school class ring which I haven't been able to get on my finger since before the first time I got married. woooo hooo there it is on my finger!

Sunday June 3, 2012 - Day 86

Spartan Race day!!! I was up early took care of a few things around the house and out the door I went to meet Cheryl and watch her do the Spartan Race. I had my new yellow shirt on and lemon backpack.


I was excited and nervous for her. I couldn't do any of the obstacles (I can here her saying YET) I would have been happy with myself just to make it walking around the course. I was pleased with myself that I didn't get out of breathe walking up and down the hill to take pictures. To me that was a big deal.

This was one of my favorite obstacles. I am so amazed my Cheryl!


If you don't know anything about my girlfriend Cheryl you can read about her journey here

Here she is at the end with her metal



Then guess what I did?! That's right I signed up for next year!All I keep thinking is OMG WHAT DID I DO, WHAT DID I DO!!



Even though I already knew I would have no support at all from home. I told the roommate. When I showed him all the pictures of Cheryl he said "You're going to do that?" and laughed. I don't know if he laughed because he knows how much I hate mud, or doesn't think I can do it.

 Either way FUCK HIM. Talk about an ultimate goal. I was never the kid who could finish the stuff in gym class. I would want to die of embarrassment when we had to run around the field. I would come home and cry and I couldn't do it.

I don't know how much I'll be able to do in a year but I'm going do try and do whatever I can. I saw woman doing this who were about my size now and they got it done! I can do this if I work at it.

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 76 - I'm doing WHAT???

I can only think in short spans of time... from doctor to doctor appointment for Alexander and what I have to do in between them. I haven't even allowed myself to think too much about going away in 3 weeks because I have TOO much to do. But that Cheryl crazy lady had me thinking about a year from now and she needs to be stopped *evil laugh*

Next weekend Cheryl is doing the dreaded Spartan Race. I'm in total awe of her training so hard. Just the burpees alone scare the crap out of me! Looks like you have to climb a rock wall,  rope and other crazy obstacles.

Wait!.. I'm not saying I don't want to do this, because she put the bug in my head.. HOWEVER I do not think I will be physically ready a year from now. There are too many what ifs that freak me out and I do sooo much better thinking SHORT TERM GOALS. Thinking about what I will be able to do a year from now is too much for my fat ass. 

But that crazy Cheryl says "You're doing it" even now while I type this I hear her in my head. I'm going to go with her and will take as many pictures as I can and THEN I will decide if I'm going to try for next year.

I did my work out for about a half hour. I still hate Jillian Micheals, hate her, hate her, hate her, but I am really liking my shoulders ;-) The girls on the DVD hardly get dewy and the sweat just pours off me.



When I was doing the leg lifts or whatever the heck I was doing, I thought to myself  "Those aren't my legs!"





I had a Lemon-licous idea. I made lemon zest from two lemons and put into an ice cube tray.

Then I squeezed the lemon juice from one lemon into the tray and sliced up the other one into real small pieces to fit into the tray


Poured water in and stuck in the freezer. Now I'll have Lemon-licous ice cubes for my water without breaking the 3 lemon limit!




Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 75 - it's Wednesday? felt like Tuesday ;-)

Warning..high volume of photos today.

Waves to the lemon police ;-) that's why it feels like Tuesday....moving on

I'm not sure if it's the No More Trouble Zone's DVD or the fact that I didn't work out for 4 days, but I'm having trouble getting through to the end. When Alexander started crying 20 minutes into the work out, I was soooooooooooooooo glad! Work out called on the count of a crying baby yippee!



For only 20 minutes I am still sweating like a pig. This lady is killing me, but I am seeing results. I couldn't believe my eyes when I got out of the shower and was drying my hair.. my arms are getting defined!!! Look at my shoulder you can see it! You can see the muscles.



I got dressed when into my favorite t-shirt drawer and pulled out my Bon Jovi T-shirt that I never wore because I couldn't fit into! It's a little long, I wish I knew how to sew... that's on my bucket list, I really need to get on that and learn.



Anthony was already a brat on the bus, I should have known it was going to be a nightmare going out with him and the saboteur, but the coupon I had for Payless ended today and he really needed sneakers. So off we went.

I got myself a large iced coffee and off we went. As I snapped this photo, the man sitting on the bench, on the right side of my coffee picture, asked me why I took a picture of my coffee. I told him I blog every day. I wanted to say, because if I sent this picture to the roommate he would have NO idea what kind of coffee I have, but if I send it to the "boyfriend" he would know without a doubt!





As you can see Mr. Anthony was already his crazy self. He wanted to climb on the stop sign. As I took his picture I wish I had a sharpie with me so I could write above the word stop "Don't" and below it "Believing"



And here he is in Kohl's putting on a fashion show for me.



I tried on a few things. I did not get any of these dresses I didn't like how any of them looked and they were more money than the ones I have bought on zulily.com.



I was at Kohl's on a mission to find a handbag I saw on their site, but no luck, but I figured I'd just order it on line when I got home. So I started hunting for yellow stuff since that's the "IT" summer color this year and just happens to work well with my crazy lemon craze.

I like this shirt, size 1X, but dammit I am going to have to change this blog name to My Big Fat Stomach! I refuse to buy a 2x shirt because I am only going to lose more weight so at some point it will look better and until then I'll wear the spanks under it. Hey and the shorts size 16!!! go me ;-)



This is the other yellow shirt but this is a size 2X and it felt big everywhere.



I went out and got the 1X and it looks better don't you think? but ugh that stomach.. I need to work out harder.



Next onto yellow shoes...which sandal do like better? My purple toes have to go if I'm wearing these.



Anthony was so out of control by the time we were done, my face was red from holding him down. I even had to step on his harness when he got away from me in order to stop him from running out into the street.

When the roommate got home I put him in charge on Anthony, which is a joke. A lot more screaming and yelling took place until they both got to bed. And the headache that slowly started was still going strong after they both  went to sleep! Anthony needs to be in  a padded room sometimes.

I went on Facebook for a while and caught up with everyone's life. Cheryl posted a link about a girl who ran the spartan race. If you have time read her blog.

She really is inspiring, maybe I will be ready to race next June. I really liked the part of her story with her trainer putting the muddy hand print on her back and saying "I got your back". Which gave me an idea!!

I am going to get myself a few shirts and some fabric paint. I'm going to ask a few of my friends who have really been supportive of me to put their hand in the paint then on the back of my shirt.

So if you see me coming towards you with a dish, some paint, baby wipes to clean up and a shirt with a board in it, you'll know what's going on. Fair warning this is going to happen at the Christening!!!


I continued my "lemon shopping" on line.. and got the handbag I wanted ;-) Now the lemon police told me if I got anything with more than 3 lemons on it he would take a scissors and cut all but 3 lemons off... hope he doesn't do that to my new handbag.



I also found these!!!!!!!!!! prefect one lemon, can't get in trouble there. And I need new panties, mine are all to big.



I'm taking a big risk here.. I have a feeling there will be scissors involved..LMAO




That's it, that's my day. See you tomorrow.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 33 - Alexander and the Monitor

Today was a big important day here. Alexander had a follow up appointment with his heart doctor about the monitor he is on. I got all of us ready and in the van. Anthony even put the seat belt on his horses Giddy Up & Jumper.






When I arrived I was given a bill over 1,000 that the insurance didn't cover!! And that's when I headache started!!! These doctor bills are killing us.

The doctor examined Alexander, he asked me some questions and reviewed the monitor downloads. My little guy is still having breathing episodes so the monitor will be staying on another 2 months at least. And he might want to do a sleep study on him. I have to call if Alexander has any bad episodes. They are all bad to me!





I called my aunt on the way home to see if there was any more news about the tragic death of my younger cousin. At that point she still didn't know anything more than what was on the news and listed on nj.com.

Anthony decided he was going to play in the sink while I was feeding Alex. When I got up to see how much of a mess he made, I decided to film some of it and the little monkey made it RAIN. If for some reason you can't see the rain video just click here to view it.

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

Shortly after that my mom called from her trip to find out how Alexander did at the doctors. It was very hard to hold it together and not tell her. She started crying when I told her the monitor was staying on for another 2 months. We are making the right call not telling her. By now my headache was really bad and all I could think about was eating the left over chocolate cake from Easter.

I sent out several SOS texts for help because I knew I wasn't strong enough on my own to control myself. I know I'm an emotional eater and I'm having a hard time. Cheryl and Jenn came to the rescue with support and both of them told me to throw it away. Cheryl sang me a song and Jenn told me to think of ya-yas....which if you don't know what it is, I'm not telling ;-)

Anthony wanted to watch a movie and I wanted to lay down, so it was a win win. My aunt called just as we were getting settled for our movie/nap time to tell me the autopsy came back. He died from a brain aneurysm. Now we just have to wait to hear about the funeral plans.

The roommate came home about 6:30pm and I took a nap! I ended up getting a late workout in, but I did do it! Here's my before and after pictures.




It was another long and stressful day and I really missed hearing from my favorite boyfriend, but glad my other boyfriend and friends were around to help me deal.

It's almost 1:30am I have to give Alex a bottle and get to bed! Even Anthony is still up leaning over my shoulder watching me blog. He just said "Mom those pictures look gorgeous

I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$

Day 29 - more celebrating!

Just because I didn't blog today in a timely manner does not mean I didn't work out. I got up, had my cup of coffee, chilled for a little bit, then put my work out stuff on and my new sneakers and put that evil woman Jillian Michaels in the DVD player.




Before & After


As I was getting ready to get in the shower, I noticed a voice mail on my cell. When I finally check it there was a message from Jenn, she said very slowly "Jillian Michaels must die". I couldn't stop laughing. She bought the 30 day shred video that I've been doing. I felt just like that when I started last month. I sometimes still yell at the evil Ms. Michaels....especially when she says things like "you can't phone it in" WHO AM I PHONING YOU B!t(h? MY FAT @$$ IS DYING I CAN'T EVEN PICK UP THE PHONE!

Later in the afternoon I had to do a little food shopping and pick up wine for tonight's dinner at my Aunt's house. Something is starting to happen that is new for me, guys are looking at me and smiling!! I'm SHOCKED! I'm no where near my goal weight, I am still as big as a house, but yet in the last few weeks I have had different guys smile at me, talk to me and one came right out and I was so pretty he got excited! I was floored by that guy. Then again today, TWICE in the A&P two different guys gave me that look and then one leaving Buy Buy Baby.

I sent a text to Cheryl and a few other people because this new phenomenon is....umm...  overwhelming... too much for me...surprising...I think the right word is EXCITING, well after I get over the initial shock. Cheryl's theory is that I have confidence and that's some how drawing people to me. Plus I always have this GRIN on my face because someone keeps making me smile, so between this grin and confidence I'm getting lots of smiles and looks.



me today coming home from the A&P

At 6pm we went over to my Aunt & Uncle's to celebrate my birthday and my Uncle's birthday. My cousin Chris cooked up a FEAST!! There was so much yummy food, I totally went over my calories for the day.





I couldn't finish my food so Chris sent me home with a doggie bag. Everything was so good! I had such a good time. I love when I get together with my family.

Tomorrow.. well Today.. in a few hours, I'm cooking a ham, sweet potatoes, veggies and making a salad for Easter dinner. I will control myself much better than I did tonight. And no matter WHAT Monday morning I am 100% back on my diet plan.

See you tomorrow
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$