Not feeling it

Working out SUCKS. I hate it. I am not good at it. I can only handle a little bit. I'm pushing myself. I need to push harder.

I need to drink water.

I am torturing myself right now. Why did I give up? Why didn't I start this in Oct.? I'm not going to fit into that dress!

Must drink water.

Must do shakes.

Must enter my food into my app!

Please don't hate yourself too much

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday

Hello World and when I say that I mean, Hello Me since nobody reads my blog anymore. I don't blame anyone, I stopped writing. So Hello Future Me that reads this one day.

Friday, Jan 24 was an awesome day! I managed to get 5 minutes work out in. It was hard, my abs were killing me by Friday. But I did it in the AM, jumped in the shower and got the boys off to school. We had an assembly and a surprise for the Principal's birthday. It was GREAT!! She was so surprised that we got the whole school in the all-purpose room to sign to her.

I then met up with another friend for the afternoon and got back in time to pick up both kids from school. I had 2 hours until the next event, the Kids Tricky Tray. I did homework with Anthony and got us out the door by 5:15pm! Set up the tricky tray tables, helped the Committee Chair with all last minute things and the event started on time at 6:30pm!

The big win for the night was Alexander with the Principal of the day. I was so damn happy, I cried! AND I DIDN'T CHEAT like some people did in the past. I wanted it so badly for him and he won fair and square.

Came home very happy on Friday night, BEST DAY EVER!

Saturday I had a scout meeting. All the boys finished Running with the Pack adventure loop. It POURED so much I was soaking wet when we got out of the car to got into the house. We ended up staying home and not going to church. Then we got a call that the basement at church flooded so CCD was canceled in the AM.

Sunday Alexander and I spent the day watching movies, while Anthony spent the day with Nonna. They went to see 1917.

And here I am Monday. Already on my 3rd load of laundry, washed a few dishes have more to do, a little HSA work and I did my work out. I need to do the shakes today for my meals, I wasn't very good over the weekend, but still showed a lost of .5lbs.

I also have an IEP meeting today for Anthony.

Okay me... I think I'm Office DID today, see you tomorrow! Drink Shakes and water. You can do it.

so hey...

So I did a mini work out. my abs are hurting. I know I need to change the video I'm doing, but I couldn't find the one I wanted to do so abs again it was. Boy, do they hurt.
I spent most of the morning reading the new scout by laws. I have a few questions, I want to make sure I'm doing everything right so I don't get fired.  It's 40 pages! FORTY!! HSA bylaws aren't this long. Maybe they should have worked on them when they were involved in the HSA.
I have to go get gas now, we are on E, then go to the farmers market to get flowers for our principal and then pick up the kids, buy a gift card and finally come home to the never-ending homework and be ready for scouts at 7. And someone asked me if I wanted a part time job.. LMAO! I dont' even have time to create right now.
See you tomorrow during the new moon! Learning moon phases with my son.

Day 2 -1-22-20

First thing's first... tomorrow I have to try a different workout. I have to mix it up for myself or I get annoyed that I can't do it.  so there's that.

I did 10 minutes. I was going to say only 10 minutes but hey, listen to me, it's 10 minutes I didn't do last week! Okay? I'm sick of you beating yourself up and feeling worthless. I'm sick of you measuring yourself against other people's ideas. You need to figure you out and to hell what they think. Just like how you don't give a sh!t if people like you or not with the HSA, you gotta get stuff done. Now carry that here. Got it?

I had to go search for my DID list to see who the heck was talking. Here's what I found...LOL My DID Clone list. It's really my personality did-disorder..LOL OMG this is 20 years old and still a list I refer too.

I'm not sure who I am at the moment.   Maybe Super DID? I really need someone from the DDK to help me out here. Ohhh Huma, where are you? LOL not here that's for sure, not sure if he knows I even have a blog.

I'm talking to myself, maybe my DID list needs to be updated. Maybe I should really create all these DIDs, wouldn't that be something.

Yeah, I'm going with Super DID. She must be the one talking. And I like it. She's nice to Plain-Old DID who is my everyday persona and usually the depressed, broken, beat up one. I don't want to be her anymore.

New and Improved DID comes out when I lose weight, I know her, she likes to go shopping, especially for bras.

Evil DID, oh she's a BITCH you do not want her to come out!! She will cut you. She was out the other night dealing with a real pain in the ass mom from the HSA.

Dizzy DID, she's the one who can't understand what you are talking about. She needs it explained 50 times and still doesn't get it.

Dragon DID, she's feeling strong and wants to do things that give her wings. Loves to create mini dragons. She must be the one who made the lucky pocket dragons!

DIVA DID, oh she's the hottie that's done with her hair, make up and nails. She usually follows after New and Improved DID. She hasn't been around for a few years.

Desiger DID - she's out just about every day. She's the creative force that drives most decisions.

Las Vagas DID - I think this one needs to be renamed. To Traveling DID. I went to Vagas once, I HATED IT! I don't gamble, so big mistake. It was boring for me. I also did not have a good time with the person I was with. I wanted to. Believe me more than anything I wanted it to be a magical trip. It just wasn't. 

Editor DID - She works with Designer DID. She's in charge of the yearbooks now.

Super DID - well that's who's talking right now. Feeling confident, strong, sure of herself and goals. Will handle anything thrown at her.

Hunk Hunting DID - Oh she's doing NOTHING these days. no hunks to hunt. Plus she only comes out after New and Improved and Diva DID arrive.

Suess DID - well that rhyming one only shows up as needed. She's not needed

Sleepy Time DID - OH MY GOSH, this is my favorite DID. I can't want to sleep every single day.

Commando DID - well umm. that speaks for itself, I'm commando right now!

Special Ops DID - I only take her out when I need to uncover something or pull off a surprise, which I happen to be doing this Friday, so I guess she's out.

Office DID - I still use her skills, comes in handy being a part of the HSA. And she types fast!

Nervous Break Down DID - Well this is my panic side, super depressed side and general worrying side. Usually shows up for IEP meetings now, early December, I defiantly have season depression. It's hard to pick up when this one comes out. Then I cycle to Plain Old DID.

But today and Yesterday I am SUPER DID! and I feel it!

Time to get ready for my morning meeting. Thank you for talking to yourself. I love you bye!

My son

This morning when I woke up feeling determined, little did I know my son didn't sleep last night.

He got up out of bed and washed the dishes and did laundry!

I'm shocked! He went back to sleep at 5am.

I appreciate it, I bragged about it! I love him!

2020

I'm on a mission. Of course, I am. I'm always on a mission to be better and happier and thinner.

I have to keep going, it's not going to happen unless I make the time for myself. And today I did! I worked out!

I have a dress I need to get into and nobody is going to make that dress fit me, but me!!!

I felt determined this morning.

I felt happy this morning.

I knew I would work out.

It was for 15 minutes.

And I did it! I worked my core. And it hurt.

Now I will track my water, drink the shakes and make positive choices all day.

I will see you tomorrow.