Day 19

Yeah, So, I HATE working out still. Some mornings it takes a lot to convince myself to do it.
I know I'll see results
I know it takes time
But today I feel sad. I'm sad that I go to food when stressed. I'm sad that I carry all this weight around and look awful. I don't believe I'm pretty, I just see fat and ugly. I had a few fat dreams. I had pockets of fat on my thighs to my knees in the shape of marshmallows. So imagine big marshmallows glued to your legs but it's your flesh. I was trying to find a doctor to remove them but couldn't find anyone to help me.
Which brings up the question that was asked to me by my OSRS online friend "who's supporting you?" Just me alone with this blog. My support is in my head. I don't talk to anyone about my struggle. I yo-yo too much. I don't want to hear the negative comments "are you going to do it this time? " I just fight the fight alone.
See you on day 20
Maria