Angry

I have moments where I'm "I can do this, I can handle this, snap out of it" which then after followed by tears over nothing!
I feel like I am secretly grieving my father. God forbid I tell anyone I am upset. They would say "why do you miss that man?" "He wasn't around, he wasn't there for you"
I feel bad. I feel bad nobody cared about him. I feel bad at the choices he mad in his life that made people hate him. I'm so angry! I'm so angry!
I'm angry at everything and everyone.