I hated planning that day! When I cancelled it in '04 I should have just cancelled it and kicked his ass out! I should have known from his BS that he wanted a big wedding but when push came to shove he didn't have an opinion on anything! "Whatever you want" was what I heard a lot, which led me to the cancelling of the party in '04. I DIDN'T WANT IT! I didn't want that big wedding. I wanted a marriage!!!!!!!! Why oh why didn't I listen to my gut?
For the past 4 years I have been hoping he would fight for us, fight for this marriage. But once again I am not important and invisible. I can't believe I married someone just like my mother! And I even told her that in yesterday's fight.
The roommate did call and wish me a happy anniversary.. UGH I said it back but could feel the tears forming so I got off the phone quick. I'm not happy and neither is he if he would be honest with himself. Something is very very wrong if we go months and months without being intimate!
I got Anthony on the bus and finally got to do a work out. Of course not working out for 4 days I couldn't handle getting all the way through the No More Trouble Zones!
I got myself dressed and ready to go to Costco when the stupid roommate got home. I called him 2 times to find out where he was.... he stopped off to talk to a guy at the other shop.
I would LOVE to just "stop off" some where to talk to someone and not have any care in the world to get home or check in. Finally he got in and Anthony and I went to pick up my Memorial Day cards.
I had most of the out of state envelopes ready and stamped. I put the cards in while in the parking lot of Costco then drove to the post office to mail them. Well Anthony mailed them :-)
I'll finish the rest tomorrow and get them in the mail.
This was a shitty Tuesday.. no lemon police either! And that just makes me more sad :(
Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$
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