Day 18 - my birthday is soon...

I always get a knot in my stomach when it is getting closer to my birthday. Not because I hate getting older but because I am so unimportant to the people I should be important to, that its just another unimportant day to them. There are several reasons I am unhappy in the current relationship I am in and overlooking my birthday is on the list of why I HATE him!!!!!!!!!

I thought I had the prefect plan for this year. I begged my cousin to cook for me. Well my Uncle is still dealing with health issues so I thought it would be better for my cousin to do something for his Dad and not me. In fact my uncle is having tests on his lungs today! Our birthdays are only 5 days apart. My cousin Chris decided to cook for both of us on Saturday April 7th. Cant wait! I love spending time with my family!

However that leaves me doing nothing on April 4th and I'll be damned if I am going to do nothing again!!. Last year I took Anthony to his first vision therapy appointment and after had lunch with my mom and did a little shopping. I was waiting for the ASS I am currently married to, to come home from work and do something with me. But like I said I am UNIMPORTANT and the monkey's ass worked LATE and did nothing with me. I cooked for our son and went to bed early and crying.

This year Alexander has an appointment with his heart doctor that afternoon. Anthony gets home from school at 3:30pm. So I need to find something fun for me and the kids to do that early evening. I am not counting on anyone else, because I learned I will only be disappointed.

So this morning when Anthony got up I started talking to him about my birthday. I don't want him to grow up thinking it's okay to ignore the ones you love (or say you love) on their birthday too. I asked him what we need for my birthday. I loved his answers:

1. decorations
2. balloons
3. cake
4. presents

Great I thought! The kid gets it! I asked him what kind of present he wanted to get for me. He said a TRAIN!! "Umm no Anthony that's a present for you not for mommy" I told him. I asked him to think about what I like to do and he should be able to think about a present he wants to get me...granted I would be taking him and paying for it, but the point is for him to learn how to treat others.

He thought for a while looked at me and said "Mommy you like to exercise"

I felt like this:



I will be taking my little guy shopping to find something to do with "exercise" to give me for my birthday! Maybe we'll go to Target when he gets home from school that day. He loves shopping there. I would like another work out video so I'll have him help me pick one out. Or maybe I'll get a real sweat band. Or even sneakers!!!

Today I'm trying a new Jillian Michaels DVD 6 week 6 pack. I need more like 6 months 6 pack, but I want to change up my work outs. So here I go.

and done...sweating like a...what? PIG!!!

oh dear Lord that was a killer work out! I had a very hard time, but guess what, I LOVED IT!! When I master that work out I will be super strong...and it will be time to train with that CRAZY GIRL CHERYL for the Spartan Race!! Did you hear that Cheryl??!!! I know you read my blog every day!


Lets go people, get up off your butts!!! I'm on day 18 of working out and you are doing what???


Bring on Day 19!!! time to add 30 more minutes to my work out time this week. go me!

Thanks for reading My Big Fat @$$
PS. Anthony just came home from school. I asked him if he wanted a snack and he said "I want something healthy to eat" LOOK AT THE IMPRESSION I AM MAKING ON MY SON!!!